I have a hard time believing it has almost been a month since my last update. For the last 2 weeks I have been meaning to sit down and write an update to let you all know what is going on and what to pray for. To be honest it has seemed like a daunting task and I just kept putting it off. Thank you for being so faithful in reading our story and praying for us. Although writing an update is tough some days I am beyond thankful that we have an army of people who love us and are lifting our family up to God. Once again we are so thankful for each of you and that we are not facing this alone.
Our small group just started a study on 1 Peter and part of it really hit home for me. 1 Peter 1:6&7 says, "6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." I often wonder why some people have more difficult trials than others and many times have thought "haven't we been through enough?". The truth is we don't choose what we face in life but we choose how we face the trials. Some people do have easier life than others but that doesn't change our faith. Each day I need to make the decision to be glad for this day and live it to the fullest. I struggle with this on a regular basis but I will continue to have that as my goal. God is still good all the time-even on our toughest days.
So now for the medical part. In my last blog I mentioned that we were trying to decide if Rob should do 2 extra rounds of chemo. Sometimes prayers are answered differently then we think and this time was one of them. We didn't end up having to make a decision, the doctor did it for us. At Rob's next follow up with his oncologist she said that the research shows 6 rounds is best and she only gives extra for people who are scared to stop. She had offered it to us if we wanted it but didn't actually recommend it. So that means that as of tomorrow Rob will be done his full 6 rounds of chemo. He will still continue to receive cetuximab every week. The cetuximab isn't considered a chemo drug but is an antibody. It works similarly to the antibodies we all have that fight off sickness. For some people this will hold back the cancer for a while and for some not long. Before the end of the year Rob will have another CT scan to see if the cetuximab alone is working for him. At that point we will decide about next steps. The doctors don't know how Rob's disease will progress so they just have to treat it one step at a time.
Something that we have been looking into for a few months now is alternative/natural treatments. We have read about them and found someone here in Winnipeg that offers them. Dr Caeser is a naturopathic doctor with many years of experience treating cancer. Last Monday we met with him for the first time and Rob started his first treatment on Friday. He uses a few natural drugs through IV as well as oral supplements. These things have been known to attack the cancer cells without getting the healthy ones therefore you get the treatment without the nasty side effects. It is hard to say what one would do until they face the situation and for us this is one of those times. When the medical doctors say they can't get rid of the cancer then you need to look elsewhere. We are feeling good about this step in Rob's treatment and we know we need to try this even though it is not guaranteed to work. The biggest downfall of natural treatment is that it is not covered at all. That means that every minute you are with the doctor you are paying out of your pocket. We have already decided to go for 2 treatments a week instead of the recommended 3 to cut down the cost. People often say to save up for a rainy day and it has been raining for us for awhile. Please pray that we make wise decisions regarding this and that God provides what we need without having to choose between Rob's health and money.
Whether God heals Rob by the medicine, the natural medicine, or just by miraculously healing him we don't care and will never know but we do pray for healing everyday. We know that sometimes God heals and sometimes he doesn't but we have hope because one day we will be in heaven. Pray for us that we are able to enjoy each day we have together, that we are loving and patient with each other and that the stress of our life doesn't cause tension in our family.
I am happy to report that Isaac has started Kindergarten now and he is loving it. Even on his first day he walked in there and didn't care at all that we were leaving. I know that school is going to be a good thing for all of us. Isaac also started karate a few weeks ago. I was able to find a local place that let Isaac try it for free for 2 classes and is very affordable. He wasn't sure at first if he wanted to go back because it was hard but he is doing very well and working at getting better.
This week is a big week for me because I am starting back at work. I met with my boss and she was happy to help me the best way she could. I will be going back just 2 short shifts a week. Rob and I both feel like this will be a good thing to get me out of the house a bit and with Isaac in school during one of my shifts and grandma and grandpa helping with the other one Rob should be ok. The only way to know if this will work is to try it so that is what we will do. It was one of the best decisions I made staying home for the last few months but I do look forward to going back to work even just a few hours a week and hanging out with some seniors!!
I will try to be better about updating on here more often but know that even when I am silent we need and appreciate all your love and prayers.
Love Karen
Sunday, 4 October 2015
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Shrinking Tumors!
Most kids are gearing up for starting school tomorrow here in Winnipeg but as luck would have it Isaac came down with something and isn't allowed to start his first day of Kindergarten. After his fever spiked to 105.1 we decided to take him to the doctor. We still aren't totally sure what is causing the fever but hoping the medication he was given helps and he should feel much better in a day or two. Tonight as I was getting him ready for bed he said to me with tears in his eyes, "If I can't go to my first day of school I am not going to any days of school." I know that once he starts he will forget about missing his first day but he was SO excited it just doesn't seem fair. I am just praying that He feels better when he gets up tomorrow and that whatever is going on that the medication helps and that Rob stays healthy and doesn't get it.
Today I was really torn between being at chemo with Rob and being home to look after Isaac since he was sick. Marilyn, Rob's mom, was helping me out but knowing the right place for me to be was difficult. I decided to stay home with Isaac and Rob was able to have a good visit with his mom so it all worked out. I know that I have people who can and want to help us but I often just want to be everywhere and not miss a thing. This is something I need to work on and am continuously challenged by.
I think I would say that doing chemo is now a routine for us and to the point where I lose track of when I last wrote an update on here! After 3 1/2 months of weekly visits and managing side effects we are getting pretty good at knowing what each week will look like. Rob did round 5 week 2 today. It is hard to believe that summer is almost over and we spent the whole season going to Cancer Care every week.
The other week Rob had a CT scan done of his chest and neck. This is routinely done after 4 complete rounds of chemo to see if it working. We were told at his follow up appointment that the tumors have shrunk a little since chemo began but they are not "melting away." In other words the chemo is working to prevent the cancer from spreading but it is not totally getting rid of it. We are praising God that at least the chemo is working and will continue as planned. It also leaves us in a place where we need to make some decisions. I asked in this last appointment what happens after the 6 rounds were completed as I presumed they wouldn't just stop treating Rob. There are actually a few options of what we could do but one of the options is to do 2 extra rounds of this same chemo routine (doing 8 rounds of 3 weeks each in total). At this point we have not made a decision but please pray for us as we figure out what is best for Rob. Also pray that the tumors would begin to melt away and at next scan the doctors would be amazed!!
Another decision we are weighing is going away as a family after chemo is done. Chemo is a long hard road and I really think that after all of this we need some time away just to be together and have fun. One of my best friends and her family has a trip planned in November that we would love to join them but there is a lot to be decided before then. One thing we still need to look into is travel insurance for Rob. We are praying that we would know if this is the right thing for us to do and if not that we can make memories another way.
A few weeks back I was contacted by the Never Alone Foundation. They are an organization that supports cancer patients and one of the things they do is send them on day trips. The couple that gave Rob's name in told them he loves football. So on August 29th Rob, his dad, my dad (who was visiting us for a few days from Ontario) and I went to the Bomber game and had amazing seats. Rob was also given a gift bag with a number of things including a football and a jersey signed by some of the 1990 Grey Cup team. Although it wasn't the greatest game in terms of football we still had a great time. The weather was perfect and Rob felt good! We are very grateful to the Never Alone Foundation for their generous gift and the amazing opportunity.
The last little while has been tough for me. I often feel overwhelmed and weary. I am naturally a planner so I think about the future and we don't know what the future looks like so it is scary sometimes. I know that day by day we will get through whatever we face but that doesn't mean that it will be easy. In my weariness there have been more tears lately but there is also still laughter. I know that God is with us and knows the best thing for us but sometimes I just want everything to go back to "normal". Last week I was reminded of this verse found in Romans 12:12 which says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Please pray that I can live this out each day of my life. That I will be filled with hope, patience and faithfulness and that all the glory would be given to God as He carries us through.
Love Karen
Today I was really torn between being at chemo with Rob and being home to look after Isaac since he was sick. Marilyn, Rob's mom, was helping me out but knowing the right place for me to be was difficult. I decided to stay home with Isaac and Rob was able to have a good visit with his mom so it all worked out. I know that I have people who can and want to help us but I often just want to be everywhere and not miss a thing. This is something I need to work on and am continuously challenged by.
I think I would say that doing chemo is now a routine for us and to the point where I lose track of when I last wrote an update on here! After 3 1/2 months of weekly visits and managing side effects we are getting pretty good at knowing what each week will look like. Rob did round 5 week 2 today. It is hard to believe that summer is almost over and we spent the whole season going to Cancer Care every week.
The other week Rob had a CT scan done of his chest and neck. This is routinely done after 4 complete rounds of chemo to see if it working. We were told at his follow up appointment that the tumors have shrunk a little since chemo began but they are not "melting away." In other words the chemo is working to prevent the cancer from spreading but it is not totally getting rid of it. We are praising God that at least the chemo is working and will continue as planned. It also leaves us in a place where we need to make some decisions. I asked in this last appointment what happens after the 6 rounds were completed as I presumed they wouldn't just stop treating Rob. There are actually a few options of what we could do but one of the options is to do 2 extra rounds of this same chemo routine (doing 8 rounds of 3 weeks each in total). At this point we have not made a decision but please pray for us as we figure out what is best for Rob. Also pray that the tumors would begin to melt away and at next scan the doctors would be amazed!!
Another decision we are weighing is going away as a family after chemo is done. Chemo is a long hard road and I really think that after all of this we need some time away just to be together and have fun. One of my best friends and her family has a trip planned in November that we would love to join them but there is a lot to be decided before then. One thing we still need to look into is travel insurance for Rob. We are praying that we would know if this is the right thing for us to do and if not that we can make memories another way.
A few weeks back I was contacted by the Never Alone Foundation. They are an organization that supports cancer patients and one of the things they do is send them on day trips. The couple that gave Rob's name in told them he loves football. So on August 29th Rob, his dad, my dad (who was visiting us for a few days from Ontario) and I went to the Bomber game and had amazing seats. Rob was also given a gift bag with a number of things including a football and a jersey signed by some of the 1990 Grey Cup team. Although it wasn't the greatest game in terms of football we still had a great time. The weather was perfect and Rob felt good! We are very grateful to the Never Alone Foundation for their generous gift and the amazing opportunity.
The last little while has been tough for me. I often feel overwhelmed and weary. I am naturally a planner so I think about the future and we don't know what the future looks like so it is scary sometimes. I know that day by day we will get through whatever we face but that doesn't mean that it will be easy. In my weariness there have been more tears lately but there is also still laughter. I know that God is with us and knows the best thing for us but sometimes I just want everything to go back to "normal". Last week I was reminded of this verse found in Romans 12:12 which says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Please pray that I can live this out each day of my life. That I will be filled with hope, patience and faithfulness and that all the glory would be given to God as He carries us through.
Love Karen
Monday, 17 August 2015
Sometimes you just have to dream!
One of my favourite verses has always been Psalm 37:23-24 which says, "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." The past week I feel like God is not only holding my hand but that I am hanging onto Him with both hands and am scared to let go. We have been at this whole chemo thing for 11 weeks now and I find myself getting tired and weary. I have moments when I feel so overwhelmed that I doubt I can go on. Watching Rob suffer is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. One thing I have never wanted to do is pretend like everything is fine and put on a face. That doesn't mean that when I smile I am faking it, because amongst the suffering there is still joy. What it does mean is that some days I find it harder to face our reality and I hate the situation we are in. It is in those moments I cling to God and beg him to hear our prayers. We know that God loves us and wants the best for us. He "delights in every detail of our lives" and He is not delighting that Rob is sick but he delights in how we lean on Him and share His word and serve Him even while going through something that is terribly difficult. My prayer is for healing, strength to face this, peace, hope and that in our reality God would be glorified and our fight would be an example of God's faithfulness and love.
As I sit here and type Rob is beside me getting his treatment (we are in Round 4 week 2). They say that Chemo has a cumulative effect and I would say that some things are starting to get worse. The nausea during week one continues to be managed quite well with anti nausea drugs so we are thankful for that. Rob does struggle with a lack of appetite during week one. Week 2 he gets mouth sores which makes eating and enjoying food very difficult. Not to mention that the drug he receives every week gives him a terrible rash all over his body. He continues to have good days and bad days and we are never totally sure when they will occur. Sometimes it helps to get out of the house and do something and other days it seems daunting to leave the comfort of home.
We find one things that helps is continuing to dream and plan. We talk about what we would do when we are retired and dream of buying an RV and seeing more of this beautiful country. Usually a conversation like this ends with me telling Rob that he needs to stick around so we can do this together! We dream of going on a family vacation once chemo is done. We dream about watching Isaac grow up and who will teach him to drive! We dream and plan because it feels good and because no one knows how many days any of us have. I just pray that some of these dreams and plans can become a reality.
I have had a number of people ask me about work. A few weeks ago Rob and I talked about what it would look like if I went back to work. But then the following week was a hard week and being at work would have been impossible. I have now reached the end of my sick days but we feel that it is still important for me to be at home. I am needed there to look after both Isaac and Rob. Although making money is important looking after my family is more important! The plan is to reassess once Isaac starts school in September.
Isaac is doing well. He took some swimming lessons a few weeks ago and passed 2 levels in one. Last week he attended VBS at our church and loved every minute. He even memorized his first bible verse! He is also getting very excited to start Kindergarten in September!! We know it is hard on him having a Daddy who is sick but he prays for Daddy every day and enjoys time with him when he feels good enough to play Hotwheels or Lego! Pray that we have patience and love for him even when we are tired and dealing with our own emotions. Sometimes parenting during a sickness is one of the most difficult things.
I have said this before but I feel like I need to say it again....Thank you! Last week I was thinking about all of the people I should write thank you cards to but then I get overwhelmed by the task. Forgive me if I have not thanked you but know that all the prayers, visits, phone calls, cards, financial gifts, meals and encouragement is appreciated so much. We could not do this without the community we have around us. So a huge thank you to all of you from the bottom of our hearts.
Each day we wake up and face the day and not knowing what lies ahead but knowing that we have today and we should make the best of it.
Love Karen
Tuesday, 21 July 2015
It is Well with My Soul
As a young girl growing up in church I learned the words to many hymns and sang along with the adults. Now as an adult I often sings those songs from memory without really thinking about what they mean. Over the last year I have really become aware of the words I am singing and what they mean. One of the first hymns I am sure I could sing by heart was "It is well with my Soul". I remember loving the different parts, echoes and harmonies you could do. Recently as we were singing that song it really made me think if I believed what I was singing. This is how the first verse goes...(just imagine me singing it in your ear!!!)
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
When I think through our last year, what we are facing right now and even what the future for us might look like can I honestly say it is well?? Although I have moments of fear and doubt and feeling like it isn't fair I think I could still say that yes it is well with my soul. The only reason I can say that though is because of Jesus and the personal relationship we have with Jesus and the reassurance that we will one day all meet again in heaven. We pray every day that Isaac will choose to follow Jesus too and we teach him the best we can. Our life here on earth is so short compared to eternity in heaven. Life is hard and can be messy but knowing what my future holds means I can truly say it is well with my soul.
Since my last update Rob has completed round 2 of chemo and just started round 3 yesterday. Round 2 was much better than round 1 after getting some more anti nausea meds. I now refer to the weeks of each round as the bad week, better week, and good week. Since Rob is taking so may different drugs he is always fighting some kind of side effect but some are much more manageable then the others. It is almost a good thing that the side effects come at different times because dealing with them all at the same time would be very hard. We basically just take things day by day. Some days Rob needs to rest and can't handle very much but other days he feels pretty good. I know he feels good if he says he wants to go disc golfing!! We are learning to take advantage of the good days and over the last few weeks did last minute trips to Fargo, North Dakota with Rob's parents and to Ingolf, Ontario to see Rob's Aunt, Uncle and cousins. We have also found that planning fun things and having something to look forward to makes the bad days feel a little better. My goal is to have a time away or fun adventure planned during the "good week" of each round.
One of the frustrating things for me is keeping medications and appointments in order. This week alone I have already found 2 mistakes with meds from the pharmacy and a few minor problems with appointment times. It often feels like a full time job just keeping track of it all and making sure that we don't miss an appointment or important medication.
Overall we seem to be managing our situation with the support of family and friends and with God reasonably well. I never would have imagined that I would be sitting in the hospital each week watching my husband get treatment but this is our story and we can't change it but we can make the most of it.
Tomorrow Rob and I celebrate our 9th anniversary. Typically couples tend to do something special for their 10th anniversary but Rob decided that we don't know how many years together we have so why wait until the 10th let's make the 9th special. Rob shared with me that he wanted to buy me a ring to celebrate. He told me what he wanted to do, and while it made me happy it also brought on a waterfall of tears. We found the perfect ring that has 3 bands to represent Rob, myself and God and that we are joined together even if we physically apart. Every time I look at my ring I am reminded of the love Rob has for me and that we are bound by our love for each other and God's love for us.
Please continue to pray for Rob, Isaac and I and our families that we would lean on God for everything we need. Pray for a miracle in Rob's body and that he is healed even though the doctors don't feel hopeful and for management of pain and side effects. Pray for hope, strength and comfort each day.
Love Karen
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
When I think through our last year, what we are facing right now and even what the future for us might look like can I honestly say it is well?? Although I have moments of fear and doubt and feeling like it isn't fair I think I could still say that yes it is well with my soul. The only reason I can say that though is because of Jesus and the personal relationship we have with Jesus and the reassurance that we will one day all meet again in heaven. We pray every day that Isaac will choose to follow Jesus too and we teach him the best we can. Our life here on earth is so short compared to eternity in heaven. Life is hard and can be messy but knowing what my future holds means I can truly say it is well with my soul.
Since my last update Rob has completed round 2 of chemo and just started round 3 yesterday. Round 2 was much better than round 1 after getting some more anti nausea meds. I now refer to the weeks of each round as the bad week, better week, and good week. Since Rob is taking so may different drugs he is always fighting some kind of side effect but some are much more manageable then the others. It is almost a good thing that the side effects come at different times because dealing with them all at the same time would be very hard. We basically just take things day by day. Some days Rob needs to rest and can't handle very much but other days he feels pretty good. I know he feels good if he says he wants to go disc golfing!! We are learning to take advantage of the good days and over the last few weeks did last minute trips to Fargo, North Dakota with Rob's parents and to Ingolf, Ontario to see Rob's Aunt, Uncle and cousins. We have also found that planning fun things and having something to look forward to makes the bad days feel a little better. My goal is to have a time away or fun adventure planned during the "good week" of each round.
One of the frustrating things for me is keeping medications and appointments in order. This week alone I have already found 2 mistakes with meds from the pharmacy and a few minor problems with appointment times. It often feels like a full time job just keeping track of it all and making sure that we don't miss an appointment or important medication.
Overall we seem to be managing our situation with the support of family and friends and with God reasonably well. I never would have imagined that I would be sitting in the hospital each week watching my husband get treatment but this is our story and we can't change it but we can make the most of it.
Tomorrow Rob and I celebrate our 9th anniversary. Typically couples tend to do something special for their 10th anniversary but Rob decided that we don't know how many years together we have so why wait until the 10th let's make the 9th special. Rob shared with me that he wanted to buy me a ring to celebrate. He told me what he wanted to do, and while it made me happy it also brought on a waterfall of tears. We found the perfect ring that has 3 bands to represent Rob, myself and God and that we are joined together even if we physically apart. Every time I look at my ring I am reminded of the love Rob has for me and that we are bound by our love for each other and God's love for us.
Please continue to pray for Rob, Isaac and I and our families that we would lean on God for everything we need. Pray for a miracle in Rob's body and that he is healed even though the doctors don't feel hopeful and for management of pain and side effects. Pray for hope, strength and comfort each day.
Love Karen
Saturday, 27 June 2015
Our Epic Trip!
I know it has been a long time since my last update but I have a good excuse....we just got back from our epic trip to BC! We flew to Vancouver and over 2 weeks we made our way east and flew back to Winnipeg from Calgary. The trip was amazing! We drove over 2,000 kms and took over 1200 pictures! A few of the highlights were...
-Seeing the magnificent mountains and being in complete awe of the beauty and vastness of God's creation.
-Rob and I got to Zipline in Whistler and it was amazing!
-Spending time with some family I haven't seen since I was 5 and seeing some friends that we haven't seen in a while.
-Going whale watching and being 20 feet from an Orca whale.
-Watching Isaac do a ropes course designed for kids-he rocked it! and Rob getting to do a high ropes course in a forest with huge trees.
-Seeing Takkakaw Falls in Yoho National Park.
-Taking Isaac to Drumheller to see the dinosaur fossils.
-Hiking to the summit of Mount Revelstoke.
-Spending 2 weeks with Rob and Isaac without having to worry about appointments.
-Going up the Whistler and Squamish Gondolas and walking across the Capilano Suspension Bridge.
-Driving through the mountains while the clouds were lower than the peaks.
-Seeing a double rainbow over the mountains as we drove.
-Rob trying some new disc golf courses.
-Being blessed and humbled by the generosity of friends, family and strangers.
And that is just to name a few. It seemed like everyday there was a highlight and something that was new and exciting. Thank you to everyone who was a part of the adventure and to everyone who helped us financially with our trip. It truly was epic and unforgettable and we are incredibly grateful for the experience and the memories. I had been hoping to post some pictures on the blog but it won't work. We are working on making a photo book with our favourite photos so if you ever want to see it just let me know. We will also post a bunch on facebook shortly.
Coming home to the routine of life after a vacation is hard. Coming home to face cancer treatment is so much harder. We arrived home on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning we had to be at Cancer Care. Rob had blood work done and then we met with the doctor that deals with chemo. We discussed how the first round went and what side effects Rob had to deal with. We were able to ask for the extra anti nausea drugs we had to get last minute the previous round. Hopefully by being proactive and taking these pills it will help Rob to feel better then last time. The doctor was pleased with how the first round went and although Rob did have a number of side effects these are to be expected and the plan is to proceed with the next round. So round 2 of chemo starts on Monday and unless there is a need to give Rob's body a break they will continue each week until October. This length of time can seem daunting but we continue to just take it all day by day.
While we were at Cancer Care on Thursday we also found out that the chest CT scan Rob had a few weeks ago came back clear. This does not mean we are out of the woods but it is worth celebrating because it means that at this point the cancer has not spread to other parts of Rob's body but is just in his lymph nodes in his neck. Most often the first place this cancer spreads is the lungs so it was good to hear that we are not at that point yet. Rob will continue to have chemo as planned in hopes to shrink the tumor and slow it down from spreading. And we continue to pray that God heals Rob completely and not only shrinks the tumor and takes it all away.
In order to prevent Rob from having tubes hanging out of his arm or having to get poked with a needle each week we decided that he would have a port installed. On Friday morning we had to be at HSC at 8am to have it implanted. Basically they put this little piece of equipment just below the skin by the collar bone which has a tube that is fed through his vein. From now on each time he has treatment or needs blood work done they go through this little port. They gave him a conscious sedation and the procedure only took about 20 minutes but Rob was relieved to have it done. He has to take it easy for the next few days but once the incision heals up he won't even notice it.
Often the hardest thing I struggle with is the question of why? Not why did Rob have to get cancer but why hasn't he been healed yet? We know that we serve a mighty God that can heal Rob completely, however we also know that God does not always answer our prayers how we want Him to or when we want Him to. We have hope because we know God can do a miracle and we ask for that but we walk each day in faith trusting that God will carry us through whatever we face. A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and we have chatted a few times and she and her husband are asking God the same questions that we are. It doesn't seem fair to us especially when it is someone who is young and has their whole life to live. We have to remember though that we were never promised an easy life but if we have a personal relationship with God, we are promised eternity in Heaven where there will be no more pain, sickness or suffering. Praise Jesus for this promise!
We don't have control over the future but we can make today, in this moment the best we can and that is what we focus on. Please continue to pray for Rob, Isaac and I and our families. We could not do this without the army of prayer warriors we have so thank you for walking this journey with us.
Love Karen
-Seeing the magnificent mountains and being in complete awe of the beauty and vastness of God's creation.
-Rob and I got to Zipline in Whistler and it was amazing!
-Spending time with some family I haven't seen since I was 5 and seeing some friends that we haven't seen in a while.
-Going whale watching and being 20 feet from an Orca whale.
-Watching Isaac do a ropes course designed for kids-he rocked it! and Rob getting to do a high ropes course in a forest with huge trees.
-Seeing Takkakaw Falls in Yoho National Park.
-Taking Isaac to Drumheller to see the dinosaur fossils.
-Hiking to the summit of Mount Revelstoke.
-Spending 2 weeks with Rob and Isaac without having to worry about appointments.
-Going up the Whistler and Squamish Gondolas and walking across the Capilano Suspension Bridge.
-Driving through the mountains while the clouds were lower than the peaks.
-Seeing a double rainbow over the mountains as we drove.
-Rob trying some new disc golf courses.
-Being blessed and humbled by the generosity of friends, family and strangers.
And that is just to name a few. It seemed like everyday there was a highlight and something that was new and exciting. Thank you to everyone who was a part of the adventure and to everyone who helped us financially with our trip. It truly was epic and unforgettable and we are incredibly grateful for the experience and the memories. I had been hoping to post some pictures on the blog but it won't work. We are working on making a photo book with our favourite photos so if you ever want to see it just let me know. We will also post a bunch on facebook shortly.
Coming home to the routine of life after a vacation is hard. Coming home to face cancer treatment is so much harder. We arrived home on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning we had to be at Cancer Care. Rob had blood work done and then we met with the doctor that deals with chemo. We discussed how the first round went and what side effects Rob had to deal with. We were able to ask for the extra anti nausea drugs we had to get last minute the previous round. Hopefully by being proactive and taking these pills it will help Rob to feel better then last time. The doctor was pleased with how the first round went and although Rob did have a number of side effects these are to be expected and the plan is to proceed with the next round. So round 2 of chemo starts on Monday and unless there is a need to give Rob's body a break they will continue each week until October. This length of time can seem daunting but we continue to just take it all day by day.
While we were at Cancer Care on Thursday we also found out that the chest CT scan Rob had a few weeks ago came back clear. This does not mean we are out of the woods but it is worth celebrating because it means that at this point the cancer has not spread to other parts of Rob's body but is just in his lymph nodes in his neck. Most often the first place this cancer spreads is the lungs so it was good to hear that we are not at that point yet. Rob will continue to have chemo as planned in hopes to shrink the tumor and slow it down from spreading. And we continue to pray that God heals Rob completely and not only shrinks the tumor and takes it all away.
In order to prevent Rob from having tubes hanging out of his arm or having to get poked with a needle each week we decided that he would have a port installed. On Friday morning we had to be at HSC at 8am to have it implanted. Basically they put this little piece of equipment just below the skin by the collar bone which has a tube that is fed through his vein. From now on each time he has treatment or needs blood work done they go through this little port. They gave him a conscious sedation and the procedure only took about 20 minutes but Rob was relieved to have it done. He has to take it easy for the next few days but once the incision heals up he won't even notice it.
Often the hardest thing I struggle with is the question of why? Not why did Rob have to get cancer but why hasn't he been healed yet? We know that we serve a mighty God that can heal Rob completely, however we also know that God does not always answer our prayers how we want Him to or when we want Him to. We have hope because we know God can do a miracle and we ask for that but we walk each day in faith trusting that God will carry us through whatever we face. A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and we have chatted a few times and she and her husband are asking God the same questions that we are. It doesn't seem fair to us especially when it is someone who is young and has their whole life to live. We have to remember though that we were never promised an easy life but if we have a personal relationship with God, we are promised eternity in Heaven where there will be no more pain, sickness or suffering. Praise Jesus for this promise!
We don't have control over the future but we can make today, in this moment the best we can and that is what we focus on. Please continue to pray for Rob, Isaac and I and our families. We could not do this without the army of prayer warriors we have so thank you for walking this journey with us.
Love Karen
Thursday, 4 June 2015
What does chemo look like?
Well we made it through the first week of chemo and although it was a hard week we are on the other side of it for now. A lot of people have asked me about Rob's chemo and comparing it to last time. In the fall he received one drug every 3 weeks for 3 rounds. The main side effect was nausea which was managed by medication and although he was very tired, it only lasted for a few days. This time it is much more complicated and because the cancer has proven to be very aggressive so is the treatment. This is what a round looks like for Rob this time.
Day 1
-1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
-2 hours of Carboplatin ( this is the one that makes him very nauseated)
-They also give him benadryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
-After everything is done he is hooked up to a pump (which is the size of a baby bottle) which has a drug called Fluorouricil (AKA 5FU) and he goes home with that for 96 hours.
-All of this takes about 5 hours in total.
Day 5
- Go to Cancer Care to have pump removed as well as blood test
Day 8
- 1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
- They also give him bendryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
Day 15
- 1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
- They also give him bendryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
Then the whole cycle starts all over again a week later and we will do this 6 times in total taking almost 5 months.
The first week of the round is the hardest for sure. We had been told that the nausea with these drugs shouldn't be as bad as in the fall so Rob was only given 1 anti nausea drug. This was not the case for Rob though. He was very nauseated and couldn't keep any food down at all. By Friday last week I called the nurse and we were able to get a prescription right away for 2 more types of anti nausea pills to help him through. The good news is that now we know how it makes him feel so we will be able to get those additional drugs right away for the future. Rob was also very tired last week and slept more then he was awake for a few days. Sleep is good for him and he was able to get comfortable and get some good rest...I just had to keep Isaac quiet!! He still needs a nap most days now but only for a short time. The drug that he receives every week has one main side effect that is a rash that is almost like acne. This is a little annoying but it is something you can live with and it doesn't affect his daily activities. The only thing that we have to watch for is that the sores don't get infected. The other side effect he is really feeling is from the pump and is sores in his mouth. I had read about the possibility of these and hoped Rob would not get them. When he said he had a sore in his mouth I knew right away what it was from. The sores seem to be getting worse each day but hopefully he gets a break from them before the next round starts. He is also going to start using "magic mouthwash" again so hopefully that helps. Side effects are no fun but at least we know what is causing it and hoping it doesn't last long. So right now we will enjoy a little time with short naps and no nausea until the next treatment starts.
One of the good things are all the extra drugs they give you on day one is that you feel pretty good that day and then crash hard the next day. After a long day at the hospital and only an hour at home to eat something Rob was still feeling well enough to come to Isaac's soccer game that night. Isaac was very proud to have his dad there that night and even kicked the ball together for a few minutes.
Since my last update Rob has had some pain relief...praise Jesus! He was able to adjust the amount of pain meds and although still has some pain it is much more manageable. He is also seeing Dr Kevin almost everyday and the adjustments are helping to relax the muscles. He has been able to sleep for more then 2 hours in a row which also helps him feel better.We are very thankful for this and continue to pray for even more relief. We have a follow up with the pain management doctor this week to see how things are going.
Yesterday morning Rob went to have a CT scan of his chest. The most likely first place that his cancer will spread is his chest and lungs so they wanted to check right away. Please pray that this scan comes back clear and that there are no signs of any cancer in his lungs or chest.
We continue to take each day as it comes and try to live to the fullest. Even through the tough times we see evidence of God and are so grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and cares for us. Thank you for all your love and support...God uses many of you to bless us each day.
Love Karen
Day 1
-1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
-2 hours of Carboplatin ( this is the one that makes him very nauseated)
-They also give him benadryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
-After everything is done he is hooked up to a pump (which is the size of a baby bottle) which has a drug called Fluorouricil (AKA 5FU) and he goes home with that for 96 hours.
-All of this takes about 5 hours in total.
Day 5
- Go to Cancer Care to have pump removed as well as blood test
Day 8
- 1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
- They also give him bendryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
Day 15
- 1 hour of Cetuximab and then an hour of observation to make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction.
- They also give him bendryl, anti nausea and steroid medications.
Then the whole cycle starts all over again a week later and we will do this 6 times in total taking almost 5 months.
The first week of the round is the hardest for sure. We had been told that the nausea with these drugs shouldn't be as bad as in the fall so Rob was only given 1 anti nausea drug. This was not the case for Rob though. He was very nauseated and couldn't keep any food down at all. By Friday last week I called the nurse and we were able to get a prescription right away for 2 more types of anti nausea pills to help him through. The good news is that now we know how it makes him feel so we will be able to get those additional drugs right away for the future. Rob was also very tired last week and slept more then he was awake for a few days. Sleep is good for him and he was able to get comfortable and get some good rest...I just had to keep Isaac quiet!! He still needs a nap most days now but only for a short time. The drug that he receives every week has one main side effect that is a rash that is almost like acne. This is a little annoying but it is something you can live with and it doesn't affect his daily activities. The only thing that we have to watch for is that the sores don't get infected. The other side effect he is really feeling is from the pump and is sores in his mouth. I had read about the possibility of these and hoped Rob would not get them. When he said he had a sore in his mouth I knew right away what it was from. The sores seem to be getting worse each day but hopefully he gets a break from them before the next round starts. He is also going to start using "magic mouthwash" again so hopefully that helps. Side effects are no fun but at least we know what is causing it and hoping it doesn't last long. So right now we will enjoy a little time with short naps and no nausea until the next treatment starts.
One of the good things are all the extra drugs they give you on day one is that you feel pretty good that day and then crash hard the next day. After a long day at the hospital and only an hour at home to eat something Rob was still feeling well enough to come to Isaac's soccer game that night. Isaac was very proud to have his dad there that night and even kicked the ball together for a few minutes.
Since my last update Rob has had some pain relief...praise Jesus! He was able to adjust the amount of pain meds and although still has some pain it is much more manageable. He is also seeing Dr Kevin almost everyday and the adjustments are helping to relax the muscles. He has been able to sleep for more then 2 hours in a row which also helps him feel better.We are very thankful for this and continue to pray for even more relief. We have a follow up with the pain management doctor this week to see how things are going.
Yesterday morning Rob went to have a CT scan of his chest. The most likely first place that his cancer will spread is his chest and lungs so they wanted to check right away. Please pray that this scan comes back clear and that there are no signs of any cancer in his lungs or chest.
We continue to take each day as it comes and try to live to the fullest. Even through the tough times we see evidence of God and are so grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and cares for us. Thank you for all your love and support...God uses many of you to bless us each day.
Love Karen
Tuesday, 26 May 2015
Big Changes.
If I was going to be completely honest right now the reason that I haven't updated the blog in so long is because I have a hard time putting into words how our week has been. We don't have good and bad days...it is more like good and bad moments. We hang on to the good moments and pray through the bad ones.
This past week we made some decision for our family that are going to help us through the next season the best we can. One of the big decisions is that I have taken a leave from work. I have been having a more difficult time juggling everything and going to work has been stressful for me. There were many times that I was at work physically but my mind was at home wondering how Rob was feeling. Rob has also told me he doesn't like to be alone lately so where I am needed most right now is with Rob and Isaac. They were very understanding at my work and I am very thankful for that. I will keep in touch with my boss and we will take it month by month. At this point we don't know how things will go with treatment so we will deal with the future when we get there.
The other big change we made this week was Rob started to see a chiropractor that is a maximized living doctor. Dr. Kevin does not promise to heal cancer but he believes that if we make our body as healthy as possible then we have a better chance of fighting the cancer. Some of the ideas seems a little crazy and I am not sure that last spring we would have jumped into it however when the medical doctors give you little hope you are much more willing to try other options. At this point he has gotten a few chiropractic adjustment over the last week and he already can feel a little more mobility in the neck. Tonight we meet with Dr. Kevin to go over some things as well as talk about food. One of the major changes is going to be to change our eating habits. At this point our thought is if there is a chance it will help Rob and it isn't harming him then it is worth a try. The other part of seeing this doctor is feeling like we are doing something to fight this cancer and not just sitting there and letting it take over. In the last week or so there is visible evidence that the tumor on Rob's collarbone is growing which is discouraging and causes Rob to want to do something about it. We continue to pray for healing and that the healthy changes Rob is making as well as starting chemo will shrink the tumor before our eyes.
Last Friday we meet with a doctor who specializes in pain and symptom management. After a very long wait we were pleasantly surprised with the time the doctor took to be with us. He had already read Rob's medical chart and knew what had happened over the last year. He was very attentive as we described Rob's pain and came up with an action plan. He has increased the pain killers Rob is taking and told us there are many more options to look at if this doesn't work. Please pray that we can figure something out that works well for Rob and that he can have some relief from pain. Over the last week there have been times where his pain has been more manageable but he is still in constant pain and it affects his quality of life. We are thankful for this doctor and will have a follow up with him next week to see how things are going.
This morning we went to cancer care for Rob to get a picc line put in. Last time he had chemo he was able to do it with just an IV put in each time. This time he will be sent home for 5 days with a pump that is giving him continuous drugs for 96 hours so an IV is not allowed. Getting the picc was a little difficult but the nurse managed to get it in on his left arm! This made Rob very happy because if he feels good over the next few weeks he will still be able to go out and play disc golf. Tomorrow chemo begins and it will be a long 18 weeks of treatment (although we are taking some time to take our trip to BC!!). This morning going back up to the 3rd floor of Cancer Care felt like de ja vu. We are praying that the side effects are minimal but the treatment does even more then the doctors think possible and it gets rid of the cancer for good. We know the reality of what the doctors at Cancer Care have told us but we keep positive because we have hope and we trust in the Healer of all! Sometimes it is when the doctors say there is nothing more to do that God steps in and does a miracle.
This past weekend a good friend of ours took some family pictures of us. It was a beautiful evening and we were able to have a good time and get some great shots. Here is a sneak peak of a few of them. We are very thankful that we could do these and will cherish these smiles.
Last night as we read a devotion together Isaiah 41:10 really spoke to us. It says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
God is with us and is surrounding us with an army of prayer warriors. In the moments we feel that we can't do this anymore or that we feel alone in this we are reminded by your words, cards, gifts, meals, and most importantly prayers that we are not alone at all and that we can do this. Even through hard times God is with us and because of that we have hope and joy.
Love Karen
This past week we made some decision for our family that are going to help us through the next season the best we can. One of the big decisions is that I have taken a leave from work. I have been having a more difficult time juggling everything and going to work has been stressful for me. There were many times that I was at work physically but my mind was at home wondering how Rob was feeling. Rob has also told me he doesn't like to be alone lately so where I am needed most right now is with Rob and Isaac. They were very understanding at my work and I am very thankful for that. I will keep in touch with my boss and we will take it month by month. At this point we don't know how things will go with treatment so we will deal with the future when we get there.
The other big change we made this week was Rob started to see a chiropractor that is a maximized living doctor. Dr. Kevin does not promise to heal cancer but he believes that if we make our body as healthy as possible then we have a better chance of fighting the cancer. Some of the ideas seems a little crazy and I am not sure that last spring we would have jumped into it however when the medical doctors give you little hope you are much more willing to try other options. At this point he has gotten a few chiropractic adjustment over the last week and he already can feel a little more mobility in the neck. Tonight we meet with Dr. Kevin to go over some things as well as talk about food. One of the major changes is going to be to change our eating habits. At this point our thought is if there is a chance it will help Rob and it isn't harming him then it is worth a try. The other part of seeing this doctor is feeling like we are doing something to fight this cancer and not just sitting there and letting it take over. In the last week or so there is visible evidence that the tumor on Rob's collarbone is growing which is discouraging and causes Rob to want to do something about it. We continue to pray for healing and that the healthy changes Rob is making as well as starting chemo will shrink the tumor before our eyes.
Last Friday we meet with a doctor who specializes in pain and symptom management. After a very long wait we were pleasantly surprised with the time the doctor took to be with us. He had already read Rob's medical chart and knew what had happened over the last year. He was very attentive as we described Rob's pain and came up with an action plan. He has increased the pain killers Rob is taking and told us there are many more options to look at if this doesn't work. Please pray that we can figure something out that works well for Rob and that he can have some relief from pain. Over the last week there have been times where his pain has been more manageable but he is still in constant pain and it affects his quality of life. We are thankful for this doctor and will have a follow up with him next week to see how things are going.
This morning we went to cancer care for Rob to get a picc line put in. Last time he had chemo he was able to do it with just an IV put in each time. This time he will be sent home for 5 days with a pump that is giving him continuous drugs for 96 hours so an IV is not allowed. Getting the picc was a little difficult but the nurse managed to get it in on his left arm! This made Rob very happy because if he feels good over the next few weeks he will still be able to go out and play disc golf. Tomorrow chemo begins and it will be a long 18 weeks of treatment (although we are taking some time to take our trip to BC!!). This morning going back up to the 3rd floor of Cancer Care felt like de ja vu. We are praying that the side effects are minimal but the treatment does even more then the doctors think possible and it gets rid of the cancer for good. We know the reality of what the doctors at Cancer Care have told us but we keep positive because we have hope and we trust in the Healer of all! Sometimes it is when the doctors say there is nothing more to do that God steps in and does a miracle.
This past weekend a good friend of ours took some family pictures of us. It was a beautiful evening and we were able to have a good time and get some great shots. Here is a sneak peak of a few of them. We are very thankful that we could do these and will cherish these smiles.
Last night as we read a devotion together Isaiah 41:10 really spoke to us. It says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
God is with us and is surrounding us with an army of prayer warriors. In the moments we feel that we can't do this anymore or that we feel alone in this we are reminded by your words, cards, gifts, meals, and most importantly prayers that we are not alone at all and that we can do this. Even through hard times God is with us and because of that we have hope and joy.
Love Karen
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