Over the past few weeks many people have said to us how great it is that Rob is cancer free and it instantly makes us hesitate. We believe the doctors have given Rob the best care possible and we also believe that God can heal Rob completely (we pray for this everyday), however we know the reality is the situation and we hesitate to make that statement. Often with cancer they would never say you are cancer free, but after 5 years they would say you are in remission. The scan Rob had a month ago showed no cancer and we celebrate and praise God for this news. Even the doctor was happy to report the good news but they keep a close eye on Rob for a reason. Cancer is a terrible disease and it can be present and not show up at all on a scan. As I write this I feel a little bit like a "Debbie Downer" but this is the reality we face. The other night Rob and I had a great talk about how we are feeling about everything and how we are processing everything. I am so thankful that we have open communication and are able to be real with each other and support each other. We talked about when we have moments of doubt and fear and how we deal with them. The thing about cancer is that once you are told the news that people fear so much you live in that reality. We don't sit in fear all day everyday but it is something that is in our thoughts more than the average person. Each time Rob has a scan and we have to wait for the results we will prayerfully wait for the news that the scan shows no new abnormalities. God has certainly been evident in our journey and without a doubt he had answered the prayers many of you have prayed. As we go forward each day we pray for the strength we need to get through, for peace, for joy, and for good health. Until you are met with bad health you really don't realize what a gift good health is. We ask that you would continue to pray with us and for us each day. Our deepest desire is that through our lives and our story that God is glorified and that those around us see how great God is.
This month Rob has had very few appointments. This is great that we don't have to go to cancer care all the time however there is some reassurance in seeing the doctor weekly. We did meet with an oral surgeon last week and discussed options for Rob getting teeth. Unfortunately it is more complicated then we had hoped. We even wondered if they could fix what they need to for the teeth at the same time that they do the debulking but this is not the case. The debulking surgery will happen hopefully in the next few months and then about a month after that we will meet with the oral surgeon and discuss the options in greater detail. It is complicated to explain the options on here but he gave us 3 possibilities. The first one would be to fix the flap and get dentures. This was supposed to be the easiest choice but after doing an x-ray Rob's jaw bone was cut down more then we realized. Basically his jaw is cut down to as low as the roots of his other teeth. This makes adding dentures much more difficult. The second option would be to do a bone graft from Rob's hip and then put implants into that bone. They would not even consider doing that for at least 2 years to allow the bone to heal from radiation. The third option would also have to wait 2 years and they would basically cut the jaw bone and grow more bone in between. This is not currently done in North America with the jaw bone but the surgeon felt Rob would be a good candidate. He was very encouraging and although he can't fix things right now he is hopeful he can help Rob. We don't have to make any decisions right now and even when it comes time to decide we will want more than one doctor's opinion. So the plan going forward is to have the debulking surgery and then about a month later meet with the oral surgeon.
The month of March will be a quiet one in regards to appointments which will allow him to rest and work on gaining back his strength. In April he will have blood work and a CT scan and then at the end of the month have a follow up with Dr. Butler. At one point we wondered if Rob would go back to work sometime this spring but we know now this is not likely. He was basically told to get all the follow up work done and give himself lots of time to recover so that when he does return to work he is able to handle it and succeed. It is one thing being at home and feeling good and having energy for the day. It is a different thing to have enough energy to get up early and work 50 plus hours a week. Luckily his long term disability recognizes this and will work with him to make it the best possible return.
Last year at this time our life was still "normal", although it is hard to remember what that is like. There are many bad parts of cancer and sickness but we would be fools to say it is all bad. There are also good things that can come out of this. For example, the reminder of what is important in life and that we are all only here on earth for a short time and that where we go afterwards is the most important. Rob and I know that we have a personal relationship with God and that whenever our time comes we will spend eternity in heaven. We pray everyday that Isaac will make the decision to follow God and teach him what it says in the bible. We also pray that all of our family, friends and those around us would make that decision too. Another good thing is to treasure time with the ones we love and to let them know what they mean to us. Also when you are going through a crisis your need for God is so much more evident and you really rely on Him. We have talked a few times about how God is good and have been trying to use the phrase "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good" to remind ourselves of this.
Sometimes when things seem overwhelming, you just have to look back and be encouraged that although the journey is tough, we will never have to do it alone. Thank you all for praying for our family and being a blessing and support to us. Please continue to pray for our family as we continue to walk in faith.
Love Karen
Thursday, 19 February 2015
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Leaving with a smile!
Our journey over the last almost 10 months has included many highs and lows. Today we were able to celebrate some good test results. As we left Cancer Care today Rob made a comment to me about how good it feels to leave smiling and I wholeheartedly agree!
Rob had a follow up with the Radiation Oncologist Dr. Butler today to get the results of the CT Scan that was done on January 16th. We had assumed if the scan showed something bad they would have called us in sooner but there are still thoughts and worries that creep in. As we have said before the waiting and not knowing is often the worst part. We went there today not anticipating bad news but until we heard the words that the scan was clear we were a little anxious. As I reflected afterwards on how I felt this morning before we went I had a sense of peace and was able to sleep well last night but we have been told bad news before when we didn't expect it so our human nature kicks in and we worry. We got called in and at first we met with the nurse and shared some concerns. He told us Dr. Butler had a resident today and he would see us first. I figured we wouldn't hear the test results until Dr. Butler came in but I was pleasantly surprised when the resident came in with a smile and said he was coming to share good news with us. The CT Scan had come back saying the lymph nodes from the September scan (before the second surgery) were gone and there were no new abnormalities! PRAISE THE LORD!!! What a huge answer to prayer! As soon as we heard those words the weight that I didn't even realize I had was lifted off my shoulders. I could have hugged him and danced up and down the hallways but thought maybe I shouldn't! He did the rest of his exam and left us in the room rejoicing and smiling. Dr. Butler came in after that and shared how pleased he is with how Rob is doing but added that he will be monitoring him closely and would do another scan in 3 months. This does not mean that Rob is out of the woods yet but it means that it looks like all the cancer is gone and we pray that God has healed him and it never comes back. We will celebrate this good news and give all the glory to God for His goodness!
Rob also talked to the doctor today about the stiffness in his neck. One of the side effects of radiation and surgery, as we have said before, is muscle stiffness. Over the last week Rob has really noticed his neck stiffening up and has been trying to do his stretches more often. This is going to be a life long issue for Rob. We take for granted how easy it is to hold up our heads and have our shoulders in place but Rob will always have to make a conscious effort to do this. He also talked about the thrush he had over the last month and Dr. Butler feels that it is gone which is great news too!
Last week we met with Dr Hayakawa and he confirmed that debulking is needed for Rob. He explained the surgery to us in more detail so now we have an understanding of what will happen. Basically they open up the flap and take the extra tissue out and then place the skin back down. It is a day surgery and they just sedate Rob. I know Rob does not look forward to this but it will help him talk a little easier and even eat easier when he is all healed. This surgery will be booked last minute and won't be done until later in March, April or May. We had thought that Rob might be able to go back to work sometime in April but that will not be able to happen until after this surgery. So until then we wait for the phone call with the date.
On Wednesday this week we met with the dental specialist and learned more about new teeth for Rob. Unfortunately the news was not what we wanted to hear but it is good to know the reality and move forward with it. We had been hoping Rob would eventually be able to get implants but were told that a jaw bone that has had radiation can not be drilled into. There is too much of a risk of infection or it not healing so they will not even consider it. So option 2 is dentures...not exactly something a 32 year old wants to have but better then no teeth! Unfortunately when Rob's surgery was done they didn't leave the ridge where your teeth sit visible so there is no where for dentures to be placed. So next week we are meeting with an oral surgeon at HSC to discuss options. One thing that will be looked into is if when the debulking surgery is done if they can fix the flap so he can get dentures. This would mean that the surgery is much more extensive and recovery would be longer. At this point we are not really sure what is going to happen but we will take it step by step and see what the oral surgeon has to say. Please pray that we are able to get answers and that the team of specialist are able to figure something out.
A friend sent me this verse today from James 1:12, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." I can't help but think of Rob as I read this verse. He has been such an example to me and to so many people around him of truly relying on God. I pray everyday that Isaac grows up to be a man like his father.
Thank you for celebrating some good news with us!
Love Karen
Rob had a follow up with the Radiation Oncologist Dr. Butler today to get the results of the CT Scan that was done on January 16th. We had assumed if the scan showed something bad they would have called us in sooner but there are still thoughts and worries that creep in. As we have said before the waiting and not knowing is often the worst part. We went there today not anticipating bad news but until we heard the words that the scan was clear we were a little anxious. As I reflected afterwards on how I felt this morning before we went I had a sense of peace and was able to sleep well last night but we have been told bad news before when we didn't expect it so our human nature kicks in and we worry. We got called in and at first we met with the nurse and shared some concerns. He told us Dr. Butler had a resident today and he would see us first. I figured we wouldn't hear the test results until Dr. Butler came in but I was pleasantly surprised when the resident came in with a smile and said he was coming to share good news with us. The CT Scan had come back saying the lymph nodes from the September scan (before the second surgery) were gone and there were no new abnormalities! PRAISE THE LORD!!! What a huge answer to prayer! As soon as we heard those words the weight that I didn't even realize I had was lifted off my shoulders. I could have hugged him and danced up and down the hallways but thought maybe I shouldn't! He did the rest of his exam and left us in the room rejoicing and smiling. Dr. Butler came in after that and shared how pleased he is with how Rob is doing but added that he will be monitoring him closely and would do another scan in 3 months. This does not mean that Rob is out of the woods yet but it means that it looks like all the cancer is gone and we pray that God has healed him and it never comes back. We will celebrate this good news and give all the glory to God for His goodness!
Rob also talked to the doctor today about the stiffness in his neck. One of the side effects of radiation and surgery, as we have said before, is muscle stiffness. Over the last week Rob has really noticed his neck stiffening up and has been trying to do his stretches more often. This is going to be a life long issue for Rob. We take for granted how easy it is to hold up our heads and have our shoulders in place but Rob will always have to make a conscious effort to do this. He also talked about the thrush he had over the last month and Dr. Butler feels that it is gone which is great news too!
Last week we met with Dr Hayakawa and he confirmed that debulking is needed for Rob. He explained the surgery to us in more detail so now we have an understanding of what will happen. Basically they open up the flap and take the extra tissue out and then place the skin back down. It is a day surgery and they just sedate Rob. I know Rob does not look forward to this but it will help him talk a little easier and even eat easier when he is all healed. This surgery will be booked last minute and won't be done until later in March, April or May. We had thought that Rob might be able to go back to work sometime in April but that will not be able to happen until after this surgery. So until then we wait for the phone call with the date.
On Wednesday this week we met with the dental specialist and learned more about new teeth for Rob. Unfortunately the news was not what we wanted to hear but it is good to know the reality and move forward with it. We had been hoping Rob would eventually be able to get implants but were told that a jaw bone that has had radiation can not be drilled into. There is too much of a risk of infection or it not healing so they will not even consider it. So option 2 is dentures...not exactly something a 32 year old wants to have but better then no teeth! Unfortunately when Rob's surgery was done they didn't leave the ridge where your teeth sit visible so there is no where for dentures to be placed. So next week we are meeting with an oral surgeon at HSC to discuss options. One thing that will be looked into is if when the debulking surgery is done if they can fix the flap so he can get dentures. This would mean that the surgery is much more extensive and recovery would be longer. At this point we are not really sure what is going to happen but we will take it step by step and see what the oral surgeon has to say. Please pray that we are able to get answers and that the team of specialist are able to figure something out.
A friend sent me this verse today from James 1:12, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." I can't help but think of Rob as I read this verse. He has been such an example to me and to so many people around him of truly relying on God. I pray everyday that Isaac grows up to be a man like his father.
Thank you for celebrating some good news with us!
Love Karen
Friday, 16 January 2015
"You look good!"
When a doctor stops in his tracks to comment about how good you look you know it is a good thing...this is what happened to Rob this week. Rob had a follow up with Dr Nason on Monday and he hadn't seen him since the day he started radiation. We knew that without any scans he wouldn't know any more news than us but we were pleasantly surprised by his reaction. He walked in the door of the exam room and before he even got fully in and shut the door he looked at Rob with a smile and said "You look good. Do you feel as good as you look?". He then did an exam of Rob's neck and inside his mouth. We asked him about some small concerns we had but he said everything looked great and he was very pleased with how Rob is doing. We talked about the upcoming scan and how things will look in the next while. He told us that Rob will need some debulking of the flap done. This is something we knew might be needed but not done until 6-12 months after surgery. Basically the flap they put in is too bulky so Rob will have a procedure similar to liposuction on his flap to make room for teeth. We meet with Dr Hayakawa (his plastic surgeon) next week and will find out more about it then. We also talked about getting teeth on the bottom and he sent a referral to a dentist who specializes in reconstruction after cancer. The debulking needs to happen before teeth come so likely it will be later this year but it is good to get the ball rolling on it. It was so encouraging to have a good appointment and to be reassured that things look normal. There is no test to confirm that the treatment got rid of all of the cancer but it was obvious that Dr Nason felt very good about Rob's recovery. We left there on Monday feeling encouraged and relieved and we continue on each day praying for complete healing and walking each day in faith.
Tonight at 8:30pm Rob has his follow up CT Scan. The first time you go for a scan it is a little scary but now it feels routine for us. We will not hear any results tonight but are thankful to get this scan done so they are able to see what Rob's new "normal" is post surgery and treatment.
Rob finished radiation on December 3rd but some of the side effects can linger. One problem some people have is chronic thrush. The radiation changes the balance in your mouth and can encourage the growth of thrush. We thought that the medication had gotten rid of the thrush before Christmas but last week Rob woke up with a sore throat and knew right away it was thrush. It is down his throat which makes it hard to treat. Luckily he had a refill for the Nistatin mouthwash and within an hour he was able to start treatment for it. I also spoke to the nurse and let him know what was going on. When Rob sees Dr Butler at the end of the month he will have a look and see if it is gone. We pray that this round of Nistatin works and it is not a chronic problem for Rob.
Last Sunday we met with a couple that went through the same diagnosis 9 years ago. We were introduced through Cancer care and were told that we were similar to this couple. It was great to meet with someone who knew what we went through and to be encouraged by them. We talked about each of our stories and asked them questions. For me it was good to talk to a wife who had been in my position. To hear her talk about leaving the hospital every night while her husband lay there and to have felt the same emotions that I did was very interesting. Rob and I both pray that 9 years from now we will be able to do the same thing for someone else. We are grateful that we were able to spend time with them and they are open to us contacting them anytime.
Rob continues to improve each day and is getting his strength back. When you think about all his body has gone through he is doing very well. Rob has had a lot of time to think over the last 8 months and he has also dreamed of a lot of things he wants to do with his life. We are still unsure about when he will return to work but while he is off he has started some new hobbies and wants to plan a trip to BC in the summer to see the mountains (neither of us have ever seen them!). He says when you are diagnosed with a life threatening illness you realize life is short and you need to live each moment to the fullest. As a family we look forward to going on adventures and making the most of each day!
Love Karen
Tonight at 8:30pm Rob has his follow up CT Scan. The first time you go for a scan it is a little scary but now it feels routine for us. We will not hear any results tonight but are thankful to get this scan done so they are able to see what Rob's new "normal" is post surgery and treatment.
Rob finished radiation on December 3rd but some of the side effects can linger. One problem some people have is chronic thrush. The radiation changes the balance in your mouth and can encourage the growth of thrush. We thought that the medication had gotten rid of the thrush before Christmas but last week Rob woke up with a sore throat and knew right away it was thrush. It is down his throat which makes it hard to treat. Luckily he had a refill for the Nistatin mouthwash and within an hour he was able to start treatment for it. I also spoke to the nurse and let him know what was going on. When Rob sees Dr Butler at the end of the month he will have a look and see if it is gone. We pray that this round of Nistatin works and it is not a chronic problem for Rob.
Last Sunday we met with a couple that went through the same diagnosis 9 years ago. We were introduced through Cancer care and were told that we were similar to this couple. It was great to meet with someone who knew what we went through and to be encouraged by them. We talked about each of our stories and asked them questions. For me it was good to talk to a wife who had been in my position. To hear her talk about leaving the hospital every night while her husband lay there and to have felt the same emotions that I did was very interesting. Rob and I both pray that 9 years from now we will be able to do the same thing for someone else. We are grateful that we were able to spend time with them and they are open to us contacting them anytime.
Rob continues to improve each day and is getting his strength back. When you think about all his body has gone through he is doing very well. Rob has had a lot of time to think over the last 8 months and he has also dreamed of a lot of things he wants to do with his life. We are still unsure about when he will return to work but while he is off he has started some new hobbies and wants to plan a trip to BC in the summer to see the mountains (neither of us have ever seen them!). He says when you are diagnosed with a life threatening illness you realize life is short and you need to live each moment to the fullest. As a family we look forward to going on adventures and making the most of each day!
Love Karen
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
Good bye 2014...hello 2015!
The start of a new year is a time when people set goals for the year and celebrate the year that just ended. I am having a hard time with both of these things because last year was such a tough year and because I am fearful to plan too far ahead because we just don't know what the next year will look like. I know that this is not right and I need to walk forward in faith but sometimes that is easier said than done. On our bathroom mirror we have the verses from Philippians 4:6-7 which say, " Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I am not sure that it could be any clearer in the bible what we are supposed to do when we are fearful. Living in a state of fear makes us anxious, irritable, unable to enjoy the moment we are living in and it takes our trust away from God. I know that God loves us and he is in control and when I pray he hears me so I just need to get better at giving him all my fears and enjoying each moment we have together.
We were able to enjoy a nice Christmas together with the 3 of us on Christmas morning and then in the afternoon we were with Rob's family and exchanged gifts and had a delicious meal. It was a good day and Isaac was a very excited little boy this year. On Boxing day my mom arrived for a few days and we had a great visit with her. She even made us a turkey dinner and I didn't have to share the stuffing with my siblings!! It was a good Christmas all in all but I sure did miss seeing my whole family as well. Thankfully we were able to Skype with them and for a few minutes it felt like we were in the chaos at the Farquharson house!
Rob has been doing pretty well and feeling better each day. He is getting his strength back and wants to get back into shape. He was able to maintain his weight pretty well during treatment however he has lost his muscle mass and would feel better to gain that back. He also still needs to sleep more. Before his first surgery he had no problem getting up at 6:30am everyday and working 55 hours a week. Now he has the energy to get through the day but he doesn't have a lot scheduled usually. It will take some time before his energy levels are back to what they should be. As far as eating he is getting back to where he was in the summer. He is able to enjoy soft foods if they are cut up but it just takes him a little longer.
On January 16th Rob has his follow-up CT Scan to see how things look. We are anxious to have this done and pray for good results. When you are in limbo like we are the smallest little thing makes you wonder and worry. Please pray with us for peace as we wait for those results and also that the scan shows that everything is good and nothing is growing. We will have to wait until Jan 29th for the results so it feels like it could be a long month! All along we have prayed that the treatment (which wasn't fun) would do what it is supposed to do and get rid of all of the cancer forever. Now that we are on the other side of treatment we are thankful to be done and praying for complete healing. I have often thought about Rob and I sharing our story and showing how good God is even when things seem unbearable. I pray that we have a lifetime together to do this.
Isaac is back at school for his 3 afternoons starting this week and I am back to working my regular hours. Rob keeps himself busy with jobs around the house or if he needs to just relax he is able to do that. The muscles in his neck have fibrosis from surgery and radiation and he needs to do daily stretches for the rest of his life to make sure it doesn't stiffen up. The speech language pathologist referred to the side effects of radiation as the gift that keeps on giving!
Monday evenings we usually have at home together as a family and it feels like we are normal on those nights. I even said to Rob last night after we had just had a dance competition (you can imagine how funny it was!) how much I love Monday nights and our fun times as a family. Sometimes it just feels good to forget about everything and just have a good laugh.
Thank you again for all your prayers and support.
Love Karen
We were able to enjoy a nice Christmas together with the 3 of us on Christmas morning and then in the afternoon we were with Rob's family and exchanged gifts and had a delicious meal. It was a good day and Isaac was a very excited little boy this year. On Boxing day my mom arrived for a few days and we had a great visit with her. She even made us a turkey dinner and I didn't have to share the stuffing with my siblings!! It was a good Christmas all in all but I sure did miss seeing my whole family as well. Thankfully we were able to Skype with them and for a few minutes it felt like we were in the chaos at the Farquharson house!
Rob has been doing pretty well and feeling better each day. He is getting his strength back and wants to get back into shape. He was able to maintain his weight pretty well during treatment however he has lost his muscle mass and would feel better to gain that back. He also still needs to sleep more. Before his first surgery he had no problem getting up at 6:30am everyday and working 55 hours a week. Now he has the energy to get through the day but he doesn't have a lot scheduled usually. It will take some time before his energy levels are back to what they should be. As far as eating he is getting back to where he was in the summer. He is able to enjoy soft foods if they are cut up but it just takes him a little longer.
On January 16th Rob has his follow-up CT Scan to see how things look. We are anxious to have this done and pray for good results. When you are in limbo like we are the smallest little thing makes you wonder and worry. Please pray with us for peace as we wait for those results and also that the scan shows that everything is good and nothing is growing. We will have to wait until Jan 29th for the results so it feels like it could be a long month! All along we have prayed that the treatment (which wasn't fun) would do what it is supposed to do and get rid of all of the cancer forever. Now that we are on the other side of treatment we are thankful to be done and praying for complete healing. I have often thought about Rob and I sharing our story and showing how good God is even when things seem unbearable. I pray that we have a lifetime together to do this.
Isaac is back at school for his 3 afternoons starting this week and I am back to working my regular hours. Rob keeps himself busy with jobs around the house or if he needs to just relax he is able to do that. The muscles in his neck have fibrosis from surgery and radiation and he needs to do daily stretches for the rest of his life to make sure it doesn't stiffen up. The speech language pathologist referred to the side effects of radiation as the gift that keeps on giving!
Monday evenings we usually have at home together as a family and it feels like we are normal on those nights. I even said to Rob last night after we had just had a dance competition (you can imagine how funny it was!) how much I love Monday nights and our fun times as a family. Sometimes it just feels good to forget about everything and just have a good laugh.
Thank you again for all your prayers and support.
Love Karen
Monday, 22 December 2014
A quiet Christmas
Since my last update on December 8th we have only been to Cancer care once and have enjoyed some free time. It seems crazy how quickly time passes when you don't have something scheduled every day. Rob and I were talking about how lots of people around us are so busy this time of year running from event to event but we find ourselves in the opposite place. The one Christmas party we were going to as a family was cancelled....I am sure the other families were thrilled to have a quiet night at home but we had been so excited to get out of the house! With Rob's free time, as he feels up to it, has been doing small things around the house. The other day while I was at work he hung a chandelier that had been on his to do list for a long time. I was excited to come home and find it up and he felt good accomplishing something.
Rob has been feeling better and better each day. We are pretty sure his side effects peaked in the week after his treatment ended. The ringing in the ears is almost stopped and the chemo brain is gone which is good news. He is still up through the night having to clear his throat but it isn't as often. Eating is slowly getting better although he still needs a modified diet and it takes him almost an hour to eat a plate of food. The good news is usually he doesn't have to rush anywhere so that is ok!
On December 11th we met with Dr Butler to follow up from radiation treatment and he was pleased. During treatment we were told that things would start to get worse but didn't seem to experience what they said until right at the end. Rob still had thrush at this point but since then we switched medication and we are hoping it will be gone by the end of this week. All in all things seemed to be healing from the radiation treatment and Rob is feeling much better. When I get asked "How is Rob?" I find it tough to answer. Considering what he has gone through he is doing pretty well....on the other hand as an average 31 year old man he is not doing so good. We look forward to when things are back to "normal" and he is able to work and do things a normal 31 year old would do. We are not sure when that will be but we look forward to it. In the meantime we are just enjoying some extra time together.
Rob also had a follow up with Gina the dietician on the 11th. She was very happy with how Rob got through treatment. His weight only fluctuated about 5lbs and for what he went through that is very good. She encouraged Rob to continue doing what he is doing and he will be back to where he was.
January will be full of follow up appointments with all of his doctors ( he has a lot!). He will also have a CT Scan on January 16th and will find out the results on the 29th. The CT scan will give them a base line for how things look and will hopefully not show any growth (that is basically how they know if the treatment worked). We continue to pray that Rob is healed and that he will not have any cancer grow back. The next year is the most crucial but all we can do is wait and see while we pray faithfully.
As many of you know Rob's sister Katherina and her husband Joel were expecting their first child at the start of December. We are thrilled to share that Jonathan Pierre Scott Caby was born on December 13th and he is perfect. The day after Rob was done his treatment I jokingly sent Kat a text to read to my nephew, that was still in her tummy, saying thank you for not coming too early because we needed Grandma and Grandpa's help but it was ok for him to come now! We were thankful to have the help with Isaac during that last week and it would have been much more complicated if that little guy had come early. The other day we brought Isaac over to meet Jonathan and he thinks he is pretty cute although I think he is excited for when he is bigger and can play!
Christmas looks very different for us this year than it usually does. We would normally be heading to Ontario to spend Christmas with my family but we didn't know how Rob would be feeling so we cancelled our trip. For the first time we will have Christmas morning with the 3 of us in our own home! When Isaac first found out we were not going to Ontario he thought we were missing Christmas morning because that is all he ever knew. We quickly reassured him that Santa would know he was at home and not to worry. On Christmas afternoon we will head over to Rob's parents and celebrate with them. Then on boxing day my mom is going to fly in for a few days and have a little time with us. I am really going to miss seeing my family and friends in Ontario but making new traditions is not so bad either.
As much as Christmas is a time of festivities, shopping, giving, receiving, eating and all of the other things that make up the chaos, we want to remember that Christmas is about Jesus' birthday. We have been talking to Isaac a lot about the true meaning of Christmas and want to make sure he grows up to know the reason we celebrate. May you and your family have a great time together this Christmas and that you take the time to celebrate our Saviour's birth.
Merry Christmas and a New Year full of blessings.
Love Karen, Rob and Isaac
Rob has been feeling better and better each day. We are pretty sure his side effects peaked in the week after his treatment ended. The ringing in the ears is almost stopped and the chemo brain is gone which is good news. He is still up through the night having to clear his throat but it isn't as often. Eating is slowly getting better although he still needs a modified diet and it takes him almost an hour to eat a plate of food. The good news is usually he doesn't have to rush anywhere so that is ok!
On December 11th we met with Dr Butler to follow up from radiation treatment and he was pleased. During treatment we were told that things would start to get worse but didn't seem to experience what they said until right at the end. Rob still had thrush at this point but since then we switched medication and we are hoping it will be gone by the end of this week. All in all things seemed to be healing from the radiation treatment and Rob is feeling much better. When I get asked "How is Rob?" I find it tough to answer. Considering what he has gone through he is doing pretty well....on the other hand as an average 31 year old man he is not doing so good. We look forward to when things are back to "normal" and he is able to work and do things a normal 31 year old would do. We are not sure when that will be but we look forward to it. In the meantime we are just enjoying some extra time together.
Rob also had a follow up with Gina the dietician on the 11th. She was very happy with how Rob got through treatment. His weight only fluctuated about 5lbs and for what he went through that is very good. She encouraged Rob to continue doing what he is doing and he will be back to where he was.
January will be full of follow up appointments with all of his doctors ( he has a lot!). He will also have a CT Scan on January 16th and will find out the results on the 29th. The CT scan will give them a base line for how things look and will hopefully not show any growth (that is basically how they know if the treatment worked). We continue to pray that Rob is healed and that he will not have any cancer grow back. The next year is the most crucial but all we can do is wait and see while we pray faithfully.
As many of you know Rob's sister Katherina and her husband Joel were expecting their first child at the start of December. We are thrilled to share that Jonathan Pierre Scott Caby was born on December 13th and he is perfect. The day after Rob was done his treatment I jokingly sent Kat a text to read to my nephew, that was still in her tummy, saying thank you for not coming too early because we needed Grandma and Grandpa's help but it was ok for him to come now! We were thankful to have the help with Isaac during that last week and it would have been much more complicated if that little guy had come early. The other day we brought Isaac over to meet Jonathan and he thinks he is pretty cute although I think he is excited for when he is bigger and can play!
Christmas looks very different for us this year than it usually does. We would normally be heading to Ontario to spend Christmas with my family but we didn't know how Rob would be feeling so we cancelled our trip. For the first time we will have Christmas morning with the 3 of us in our own home! When Isaac first found out we were not going to Ontario he thought we were missing Christmas morning because that is all he ever knew. We quickly reassured him that Santa would know he was at home and not to worry. On Christmas afternoon we will head over to Rob's parents and celebrate with them. Then on boxing day my mom is going to fly in for a few days and have a little time with us. I am really going to miss seeing my family and friends in Ontario but making new traditions is not so bad either.
As much as Christmas is a time of festivities, shopping, giving, receiving, eating and all of the other things that make up the chaos, we want to remember that Christmas is about Jesus' birthday. We have been talking to Isaac a lot about the true meaning of Christmas and want to make sure he grows up to know the reason we celebrate. May you and your family have a great time together this Christmas and that you take the time to celebrate our Saviour's birth.
Merry Christmas and a New Year full of blessings.
Love Karen, Rob and Isaac
Monday, 8 December 2014
Ringing of the bell!
Last week was a tough week and even though there were things to celebrate there were many hard days to get through. As you know Rob had his final 3 radiation treatments to complete his 33 planned. There is a tradition at cancer care to ring a bell when you complete radiation. I was able to be there and get a video of Rob ringing the bell and the technicians clapping and cheering him on. What a relief to be done the daily visits to cancer care! Unfortunately that did not mark the end of the side effects, in fact they could continue to get worse before they get better. This has been very tough on Rob this week. He is having a hard time eating, is up a number of times through the night, as well as he has a hard time being away from home for any length of time because he needs to clear his throat. On top of this he also had his last chemo last Tuesday. The side effects which include fatigue, nausea, upset stomach, no appetite to name a few usually last about 5 days although this time they seem to be lingering longer. He also experiences something they call "chemo brain". Basically it is like he has brain fog and he can't make simple decisions. This is very frustrating for Rob as well as for myself. I try to make his decisions when I can but that is not always possible. Each round of chemo he also gets a ringing in his ears for a few days. This is a result of the chemo attacking the cells and nerves. This past Sunday Rob had to stay home from church because the noise of many people talking not to mention the music is just too much for him. Thankfully this only lasts for a few days and by next Sunday the ringing should be gone.
With treatment being completed we move into this weird time. Rob is no where close to being ready to go back to work but he will not have as many appointments. He will still see all of his doctors on a regular basis but we are in this time of recovery and waiting. They will regularly scan Rob to see if there are any changes and monitor him very closely. His cancer is not one that now that treatment is done they can do a test to know that it worked. Instead they hope it got rid of all the cancer cells and they will watch to see if anything grows. Please continue to pray for us as this time can sometimes be harder just waiting. We don't want to sit and worry but instead we want to live life to the fullest we can. As Rob feels better each week we are going to make special time as a family and enjoy the time together.
Since treatment started so quickly after his second surgery he wasn't able to fully recover from the surgery. After the first surgery Rob had months to get his tongue and flap moving and he was able to eat pretty well at that point. The second surgery was like taking 10 steps back and now with treatment over he can work on that. He will work along side Speech Language Pathology and will be given many exercises to do every day. Eventually he will also have to have the hair removed from the flap (this was cancelled in September), look at getting teeth and then relearn how to eat and talk with new teeth.
Our biggest prayer request right now is for complete healing. No one knows how many days anyone has but we pray for a full lifetime together and to enjoy watching Isaac grow up. We trust in a God that heals which allows us to walk forward each day in faith. We both have our fair share of doubt and fear but we never stop relying on peace, strength and healing from God. I am not sure how one could get through something as terrible as cancer without God, without faith, and without an army of prayer warriors and support from church, friends and family. For all these things we are incredibly grateful. When things seem to hard to bare something as simple as a phone call, an email, a letter, a meal, a gift card, etc. can make things feel better even for a few moments.
Thank you for each one of you who care for our family.
Love Karen
With treatment being completed we move into this weird time. Rob is no where close to being ready to go back to work but he will not have as many appointments. He will still see all of his doctors on a regular basis but we are in this time of recovery and waiting. They will regularly scan Rob to see if there are any changes and monitor him very closely. His cancer is not one that now that treatment is done they can do a test to know that it worked. Instead they hope it got rid of all the cancer cells and they will watch to see if anything grows. Please continue to pray for us as this time can sometimes be harder just waiting. We don't want to sit and worry but instead we want to live life to the fullest we can. As Rob feels better each week we are going to make special time as a family and enjoy the time together.
Since treatment started so quickly after his second surgery he wasn't able to fully recover from the surgery. After the first surgery Rob had months to get his tongue and flap moving and he was able to eat pretty well at that point. The second surgery was like taking 10 steps back and now with treatment over he can work on that. He will work along side Speech Language Pathology and will be given many exercises to do every day. Eventually he will also have to have the hair removed from the flap (this was cancelled in September), look at getting teeth and then relearn how to eat and talk with new teeth.
Our biggest prayer request right now is for complete healing. No one knows how many days anyone has but we pray for a full lifetime together and to enjoy watching Isaac grow up. We trust in a God that heals which allows us to walk forward each day in faith. We both have our fair share of doubt and fear but we never stop relying on peace, strength and healing from God. I am not sure how one could get through something as terrible as cancer without God, without faith, and without an army of prayer warriors and support from church, friends and family. For all these things we are incredibly grateful. When things seem to hard to bare something as simple as a phone call, an email, a letter, a meal, a gift card, etc. can make things feel better even for a few moments.
Thank you for each one of you who care for our family.
Love Karen
Sunday, 30 November 2014
The light at the end of the tunnel!
I am still feeling simply amazed by last weekend (if you are reading this and haven't read the last blog go back and read it!). On Monday evening we went out shopping for a new dishwasher. We decided to go to Sears and figured it would be an easy purchase. We need to have a portable dishwasher because there is no plumbing in the wall where it sits so this means that there is very little selection. After looking at our options we settled on the one that seemed the best and quickly found out that it could not be delivered until January 12th. None of us felt good about that and we didn't have a good feeling about the whole process there so we decided to leave and headed to Home Depot. We headed straight to the appliance department and after a few minutes we were greeted by a man who we now refer to as Home Depot Dean. We explained what we were looking for and Amy told him the whole story about how this all came about. Well Home Depot Dean did not disappoint us! He was able to get us the same dishwasher that we were looking at Sears for a cheaper price. He told us the only bad news was that we would have to pick it up. I said not to worry and figured after a few phone calls I would be able to find someone strong with a truck that could help Rob before chemo on Tuesday. On Thursday my cell phone rang and it was Home Depot delivery saying they had my dishwasher and wanted to set up a delivery time. I told him I hadn't paid for delivery but he said I was on the list so they would bring it! To me this was another God thing as we could have arranged to pick it up but it was way easier to have it delivered. So as we speak I am running my old dishwasher for the last time and tomorrow (Monday) afternoon my new one will arrive. It amazes me how God was able to meet a need that I hadn't even said I needed yet. We could have lived without a dishwasher but our kitchen set up isn't ideal for that plus the high heat is better for sanitizing and keeping us all healthy. You just never know how God is going to show up and remind you he is in control and that he loves us. This time he used a stranger from Calgary, my friend and her story, an early morning flight, and a sales associate from Home Depot!
Last weekend was also full of other blessings. It was so good to hang out with my friends and laugh like old times. If you know my friends Shelly and Amy you know that they are hilarious. It is amazing how even though we could be in the middle of a hard time that we could laugh and have a great time together. They also helped with cooking and cleaning which I appreciate so much. I feel grateful to have been able to spend a few days with them and Rob loved having them here too!
Over the past week or so Rob has been having more pain in his mouth. Last week Dr. Butler had a look and thought that maybe he was getting thrush. This is common during radiation but not everyone gets it so they only treat it if needed. This past Thursday when the doctor looked again it seemed to be getting worse and prescribed Rob a mouth wash to use. If they don't deal with it now it could become a problem later. We are praying that the medication works and Rob is relieved from the pain and that we don't have to get a refill as it is very expensive medicine.
This week is going to be a big week for Rob! He has 3 radiation treatments left and will have his last of 33 on Wednesday. I am able to be there on Wednesday with him to celebrate the completion! He also has his last chemo on Tuesday this week so he may not feel much like celebrating but we will still mark the completion and once he is feeling better we will celebrate properly! The chemo usually knocks him pretty hard for 5 days so hopefully next week at this time he will be feeling better from chemo. We have been told that the way radiation works is that it accumulates and his side effects may peak 7 days after the last day of treatment so that means right after he feels better from chemo he will really feel the effects of radiation. The doctors and staff at cancer care are very pleased with how Rob has been during treatment and even though they keep telling us that it will get worse we see a different result. My friend asked me tonight why I thought that is the case. One reason is I think Rob is a tough cookie and although he has bad days and moments he is keeping his chin up. The other reason, and the more important reason, is because of God. To me nothing else makes more sense to explain it than God loves Rob and cares about him and that we have an army of people praying. We know that if we didn't have a relationship with God that we would not be doing as well as we are. Also if we didn't have each of you loving us , blessing us and praying for us we would be in a different situation. Please continue to pray that this week goes as well as it could. We know the next few weeks are going to be tough but we are hopeful that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also pray that the treatment gets rid of all of the cancer. Apparently the last few treatments are the most important because they will attack the more stubborn cancer cells. We are asking God to heal Rob completely and even though radiation and chemo are hard if it gets rid of this terrible disease it is worth it.
Being so close to the end means we started to think about what the next step will be. Once he is done treatment this week he will have a few follow up appointments but for the most part December will be time of rest and healing. I can't even remember what it is like to not have a crazy schedule and not have to go to the hospital everyday. In about 6 weeks Rob will have a CT scan to get a base line of what is "normal" for him. Then they will monitor him very closely knowing the first year is the most critical. If some cancer cells were going to grow it would likely happen very quickly and they will keep their eye on that. We don't know all the details yet but there are many things that Rob will need to have done to his mouth to be back to "normal". What we do know is that December will be quiet in regards to appointments and we are thankful for that.
When Rob started his radiation and chemo I remember thinking that 6 1/2 weeks would be so long and I dreaded November. I am thrilled to be starting December and to be looking back at November. It was a hard month for us but we made it through and look forward to getting past this part. Thank you for praying for us over the last while and for continuing to bring our family to God.
Love Karen
Last weekend was also full of other blessings. It was so good to hang out with my friends and laugh like old times. If you know my friends Shelly and Amy you know that they are hilarious. It is amazing how even though we could be in the middle of a hard time that we could laugh and have a great time together. They also helped with cooking and cleaning which I appreciate so much. I feel grateful to have been able to spend a few days with them and Rob loved having them here too!
Over the past week or so Rob has been having more pain in his mouth. Last week Dr. Butler had a look and thought that maybe he was getting thrush. This is common during radiation but not everyone gets it so they only treat it if needed. This past Thursday when the doctor looked again it seemed to be getting worse and prescribed Rob a mouth wash to use. If they don't deal with it now it could become a problem later. We are praying that the medication works and Rob is relieved from the pain and that we don't have to get a refill as it is very expensive medicine.
This week is going to be a big week for Rob! He has 3 radiation treatments left and will have his last of 33 on Wednesday. I am able to be there on Wednesday with him to celebrate the completion! He also has his last chemo on Tuesday this week so he may not feel much like celebrating but we will still mark the completion and once he is feeling better we will celebrate properly! The chemo usually knocks him pretty hard for 5 days so hopefully next week at this time he will be feeling better from chemo. We have been told that the way radiation works is that it accumulates and his side effects may peak 7 days after the last day of treatment so that means right after he feels better from chemo he will really feel the effects of radiation. The doctors and staff at cancer care are very pleased with how Rob has been during treatment and even though they keep telling us that it will get worse we see a different result. My friend asked me tonight why I thought that is the case. One reason is I think Rob is a tough cookie and although he has bad days and moments he is keeping his chin up. The other reason, and the more important reason, is because of God. To me nothing else makes more sense to explain it than God loves Rob and cares about him and that we have an army of people praying. We know that if we didn't have a relationship with God that we would not be doing as well as we are. Also if we didn't have each of you loving us , blessing us and praying for us we would be in a different situation. Please continue to pray that this week goes as well as it could. We know the next few weeks are going to be tough but we are hopeful that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also pray that the treatment gets rid of all of the cancer. Apparently the last few treatments are the most important because they will attack the more stubborn cancer cells. We are asking God to heal Rob completely and even though radiation and chemo are hard if it gets rid of this terrible disease it is worth it.
Being so close to the end means we started to think about what the next step will be. Once he is done treatment this week he will have a few follow up appointments but for the most part December will be time of rest and healing. I can't even remember what it is like to not have a crazy schedule and not have to go to the hospital everyday. In about 6 weeks Rob will have a CT scan to get a base line of what is "normal" for him. Then they will monitor him very closely knowing the first year is the most critical. If some cancer cells were going to grow it would likely happen very quickly and they will keep their eye on that. We don't know all the details yet but there are many things that Rob will need to have done to his mouth to be back to "normal". What we do know is that December will be quiet in regards to appointments and we are thankful for that.
When Rob started his radiation and chemo I remember thinking that 6 1/2 weeks would be so long and I dreaded November. I am thrilled to be starting December and to be looking back at November. It was a hard month for us but we made it through and look forward to getting past this part. Thank you for praying for us over the last while and for continuing to bring our family to God.
Love Karen
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