This is Amy Koslowski, I like to believe I'm Karen's best friend, but I know there are a few of us that hold that title. I'm from Calgary and am currently in Winnipeg with the Scott's for a visit. I'm thrilled to be here with my friend. Our friend Shelly is here as well and I must admit, I've spent a lot of time laughing with my legs crossed! When we used to hang out in high school, we could laugh without the fear of tears dripping down our legs! Laughter is so healing when life is difficult.
When planning my trip to Winnipeg I wanted to find a cheap flight. I also wanted to have as much time with Karen and Rob as possible. I have a 4 year old daughter and an 8 month old. I couldn't be gone for too long as my 4 year old was going to be staying in Calgary. I chose a flight that arrived in Winnipeg at 8am on Saturday morning. It seemed like a great idea at the time, it gave me the entire day here and the flight was cheaper. I failed to process the reality of getting up at 3am and dragging an 8 month old out of bed to catch my flight.
Yesterday at 3am I rolled out of bed feeling like a crazy woman. I dragged an exhausted baby into a waiting cab and arrived at the airport. Just after 4am I was sitting at my gate, waiting to board my flight. I had Stella on my lap when two women came and sat next to me. The dreaded question came, "is she your first?" This is a difficult question for me, she's actually my third. I chose to answer her question and hoped she wouldn't push the issue. Then it came, "how old are your other two?" There's no way around it, my oldest is 4 and my middle daughter is already in Heaven. My beautiful Hope Taylor will never experience more than her 1st birthday on earth. I always smile while explaining, trying to keep people from feeling bad about asking. I do love to talk about her and it doesn't offend me. It's more the awkwardness of feeling their tension and the regret I feel they have for talking to me.
When the moment passed, she asked why I was headed to Winnipeg. I explained that I was coming to visit my best friend as her husband was going through chemo. I told her that myself and another friend were coming to do some cooking, make her smile and try to help out around the house. As I walked onto the plane, I kept thinking, "why did I tell her so much about my life?" I felt awkward about being an 'over-sharer'.
I sat on the plane waiting for everyone to board and the woman I had been chatting with popped into the seat beside me. She said, "I know this will sound weird, but my husband and I have been praying about some money we want to do something with. After talking to you, I'd really like to give it to your friend." I smiled and explained that it didn't sound weird at all, I told her that I was a Christian and I thought that her gift would be a great blessing to my friends. I gave her my phone number and email address and she got up to find her own seat. She never told me how much they wanted to give and I never asked.
I shared this story with Karen when I arrived and she was touched to hear about a stranger that would take the time to care. Then the whirlwind of all the things we wanted to accomplish began and I didn't think much of it. As I was doing things in the kitchen, I noticed Karen was washing almost everything in the sink. She explained that their old dishwasher wasn't working very well anymore and they needed a new one, but couldn't afford it. In my naturally sarcastic and slightly cocky way, I joked that I would find a way to solve her problem.
This morning in church the sermon was about service. The speaker specifically said that we need to find a need and fill it. I enjoy serving others and began thinking of needs that I could fill. Then later this evening as we sat watching a tv show, my cell phone pinged as an email arrived. I opened the email and found a message from the stranger in the airport. I just looked up and smiled at my friends. They asked me what was going on and in great delight, I was able to tell them that it was time to go shopping. Tomorrow we're going to go out and replace that old dishwasher for Karen and Rob. The amazing thing is, the people who paid for the dishwasher will likely never meet Karen or Rob and have no idea how amazing this gift is.
Sanitizing dishes and keeping things clean is really important when someone is going through chemo. This dishwasher is about more than convenience for the Scott's and being able to see this need met, before the need was truly voiced, has been amazing.
Our God is amazing and I am reminded once again of what a great and mighty God we serve. I feel so blessed to have been a part of God's plan. Thank you Calgary stranger, you were worth getting up at 3am for. She may never read this and know what she's done, but she has blessed not only this family, but those that will hear the story as well.
This morning as I got ready, I kept thinking about how positive the Scott's have chosen to be. I am so blessed to call them friends. God never promised that life would be easy and full of good times. He does promise to give us strength each day and to love us unconditionally. His love is enough. Seeing my friends walk through a journey that is not easy, that carries a great deal of unknowns and one that doesn't seem fair...I am reminded again that God is enough. That is their foundation and the source of their joy. I will leave encouraged on Tuesday.
Sunday, 23 November 2014
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Single Digits!
It is hard for me to believe that we are nearing the end of November. We started this month knowing that the whole month would include almost daily treatments and hours spent at Cancer Care. I am happy to report that we are into the single digits for radiation and one round of chemo left. Isaac very happily erased number 10 (which is his favourite number!) from the countdown today. Only 9 left!!! Since radiation is cumulative it means that the end is the hardest but it is so good to be getting close to the end of his treatment.
Last week was very busy and is the reason I haven't done an update in awhile. The week of chemo means many more appointments and time at the hospital. Plus I was working last week so scheduling was complicated and very busy. We are very happy to have round 2 of chemo done. It was a tougher round I would say. Rob had very little appetite and was very tired for about 5 days. It wasn`t until Monday that he was really starting to feel like himself again. Not only is the chemo and anti nausea drugs hard on your physical body, it also affects your mind and your thoughts. It is often called ``chemo brain`` and I can attest to the fact it exists. It is almost like Rob gets a fog in his brain and he isn`t able to make simple decisions and can even have thoughts that he normally would not have. I know it is tough on Rob to feel this way and it is also hard for Isaac and I and we are glad when Rob gets out of the fog. He has one more round the first week of December and it will likely be the toughest however it is the last one and we will celebrate that.
The side effects of radiation are building up and Rob is seeing a lot of change in his mouth and neck. The skin on his neck looks like it has a sun burn but he is keeping it moisturized with special lotion and it is helping it from being painful and breaking down. The inside of his mouth is getting very sore and bleeds. It takes Rob a lot of time after he eats anything to clean his mouth. He also wakes up in the night and had to clear the phlegm. This is all normal for treatment but it is not fun at all especially since he doesn't have a normal working tongue. That all being said the pain is manageable and Rob is not taking any pain meds at this time. We know that the last 9 treatments will be tough and he will feel the effects for a few weeks after but if it gets rid of the cancer it is all worth it.
Today we asked some questions about what happens after treatment. We were told that about 6 weeks after everything is done he will have either a CT scan or an MRI and that will be used as the base line. He will be followed very carefully and regularly and the first year is the most critical. If something were to come back it would likely grow very quickly and they would know within the first year. We continue to ask for God to heal Rob completely and that the cancer would be gone from his body and never come back.
Rob will also have a long recovery from the surgeries and reconstruction he has had. We are not sure what it will look like exactly but a lot needs to happen before he is able to return to work. The main thing being his speech. At this point the focus has been on the radiation and chemo so we will wait and see what is next.
Many have been asking how I am healing up from my surgery and I am happy to say things are good. I have been on light duties at work for 3 weeks to make sure I didn`t damage anything internally before it was healed. Next week I will go back to my regular duties at work and I am sure that as long as I ease into it, I will be good. Now that I don`t have an appendix at least I never have to worry about lower right abdominal pain again!!!
This weekend my friend Amy from Calgary and her baby Stella, as well as my friend Shelly from Peterborough are coming for a few days. They are coming to distract us and help us out around the house. I can not wait to see them and look forward to some good times with old friends. I am sure Rob will need some quiet time after they leave but he will enjoy their company too.
Today at my doctors office the receptionist made a comment to me about how amazing she thinks we are and that we are so young but dealing with everything so well. I was able to tell her that we believe in a God who heals and we have amazing support and that is why we can face this and still smile. Thank you for all the support, love and prayers.
Love Karen
Last week was very busy and is the reason I haven't done an update in awhile. The week of chemo means many more appointments and time at the hospital. Plus I was working last week so scheduling was complicated and very busy. We are very happy to have round 2 of chemo done. It was a tougher round I would say. Rob had very little appetite and was very tired for about 5 days. It wasn`t until Monday that he was really starting to feel like himself again. Not only is the chemo and anti nausea drugs hard on your physical body, it also affects your mind and your thoughts. It is often called ``chemo brain`` and I can attest to the fact it exists. It is almost like Rob gets a fog in his brain and he isn`t able to make simple decisions and can even have thoughts that he normally would not have. I know it is tough on Rob to feel this way and it is also hard for Isaac and I and we are glad when Rob gets out of the fog. He has one more round the first week of December and it will likely be the toughest however it is the last one and we will celebrate that.
The side effects of radiation are building up and Rob is seeing a lot of change in his mouth and neck. The skin on his neck looks like it has a sun burn but he is keeping it moisturized with special lotion and it is helping it from being painful and breaking down. The inside of his mouth is getting very sore and bleeds. It takes Rob a lot of time after he eats anything to clean his mouth. He also wakes up in the night and had to clear the phlegm. This is all normal for treatment but it is not fun at all especially since he doesn't have a normal working tongue. That all being said the pain is manageable and Rob is not taking any pain meds at this time. We know that the last 9 treatments will be tough and he will feel the effects for a few weeks after but if it gets rid of the cancer it is all worth it.
Today we asked some questions about what happens after treatment. We were told that about 6 weeks after everything is done he will have either a CT scan or an MRI and that will be used as the base line. He will be followed very carefully and regularly and the first year is the most critical. If something were to come back it would likely grow very quickly and they would know within the first year. We continue to ask for God to heal Rob completely and that the cancer would be gone from his body and never come back.
Rob will also have a long recovery from the surgeries and reconstruction he has had. We are not sure what it will look like exactly but a lot needs to happen before he is able to return to work. The main thing being his speech. At this point the focus has been on the radiation and chemo so we will wait and see what is next.
Many have been asking how I am healing up from my surgery and I am happy to say things are good. I have been on light duties at work for 3 weeks to make sure I didn`t damage anything internally before it was healed. Next week I will go back to my regular duties at work and I am sure that as long as I ease into it, I will be good. Now that I don`t have an appendix at least I never have to worry about lower right abdominal pain again!!!
This weekend my friend Amy from Calgary and her baby Stella, as well as my friend Shelly from Peterborough are coming for a few days. They are coming to distract us and help us out around the house. I can not wait to see them and look forward to some good times with old friends. I am sure Rob will need some quiet time after they leave but he will enjoy their company too.
Today at my doctors office the receptionist made a comment to me about how amazing she thinks we are and that we are so young but dealing with everything so well. I was able to tell her that we believe in a God who heals and we have amazing support and that is why we can face this and still smile. Thank you for all the support, love and prayers.
Love Karen
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Round 2 of Chemo
This week was a quieter week for appointments. Rob had radiation every day and is getting the hang of going to Cancer Care each day. He has now completed 15 out of 33 radiation treatments!! Each week on the weekend we have a look at how the upcoming week looks and plan out who is driving, when I am working and where Isaac will be. As you can imagine this is sometimes quite complicated but with help from family and friends we are managing well.
Rob had a follow up with Dr Butler, Radiation Oncologist, and Dr Sharma, Medical Oncologist this week. Both are pleased with how Rob is doing so far and his blood work from having chemo seems to be going back to normal and he will be able to have his second round. They both looked in his mouth and are really starting to notice changes but say they are normal and have lots of pointers to help out. Rob had his weekly appointment with the Dietician, Gina and she was thrilled because Rob gained weight this past week!! After chemo last round he didn't eat much for a few days and lost some weight so over the past 2 weeks he has been trying to gain it back and had success! Even with a sore mouth and not always wanting to eat it is very important to keep his nutrition up and stay hydrated because that will help his body recover from the drugs he is being given.
This week we decided to bring Isaac along with us one day when there were some shorter appointments. We didn't bring him because we couldn't find someone to look after him but because we thought it would be good for him to see where Rob comes each day. He did awesome and the doctors and other staff were so welcoming to him. That is one of the great things about Cancer Care...they care about the patient but also about the support team around them. Isaac is a huge support to Rob and the staff would know this. I am sure based on his time there that Isaac will gladly come back again plus now he knows what Daddy is busy doing each day. It was a win/win for everyone!
We are heading into this week of chemo with a little more knowledge of what to expect but this can be both a good and a bad thing. We know what is coming in the next few days but some of those things are not great. Rob had manageable side effects last round but he definitely wasn't himself for a few days. It will be a tougher week for sure but we will take it day by day. We know that by the end of the week he will be through the worst and will only have one more round left. Treatment day is on Tuesday and then he will have hydration on Wednesday and Thursday and help his kidneys flush the extra,
Back in September one of my girls that I mentored at my old church sent me an email to encourage me. It came at the perfect time and I cherish the words she wrote. She also shared 2 verses with me and I have read them many times since then. One of them was Zephaniah 3:17 which says, "For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful song." What a reassurance it is for us that God cares enough about our family that he takes away all the fears we have with his love. He loves us so much that he gave his Son to die on the cross and take away our sins. This is the reason we can face each day with a joyful heart and even through tough times we have hope.
Love Karen
Rob had a follow up with Dr Butler, Radiation Oncologist, and Dr Sharma, Medical Oncologist this week. Both are pleased with how Rob is doing so far and his blood work from having chemo seems to be going back to normal and he will be able to have his second round. They both looked in his mouth and are really starting to notice changes but say they are normal and have lots of pointers to help out. Rob had his weekly appointment with the Dietician, Gina and she was thrilled because Rob gained weight this past week!! After chemo last round he didn't eat much for a few days and lost some weight so over the past 2 weeks he has been trying to gain it back and had success! Even with a sore mouth and not always wanting to eat it is very important to keep his nutrition up and stay hydrated because that will help his body recover from the drugs he is being given.
This week we decided to bring Isaac along with us one day when there were some shorter appointments. We didn't bring him because we couldn't find someone to look after him but because we thought it would be good for him to see where Rob comes each day. He did awesome and the doctors and other staff were so welcoming to him. That is one of the great things about Cancer Care...they care about the patient but also about the support team around them. Isaac is a huge support to Rob and the staff would know this. I am sure based on his time there that Isaac will gladly come back again plus now he knows what Daddy is busy doing each day. It was a win/win for everyone!
We are heading into this week of chemo with a little more knowledge of what to expect but this can be both a good and a bad thing. We know what is coming in the next few days but some of those things are not great. Rob had manageable side effects last round but he definitely wasn't himself for a few days. It will be a tougher week for sure but we will take it day by day. We know that by the end of the week he will be through the worst and will only have one more round left. Treatment day is on Tuesday and then he will have hydration on Wednesday and Thursday and help his kidneys flush the extra,
Back in September one of my girls that I mentored at my old church sent me an email to encourage me. It came at the perfect time and I cherish the words she wrote. She also shared 2 verses with me and I have read them many times since then. One of them was Zephaniah 3:17 which says, "For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful song." What a reassurance it is for us that God cares enough about our family that he takes away all the fears we have with his love. He loves us so much that he gave his Son to die on the cross and take away our sins. This is the reason we can face each day with a joyful heart and even through tough times we have hope.
Love Karen
Sunday, 2 November 2014
10 down!
I can hardly believe it was over a week ago that I wrote the last blog post but I am happy to say that Rob has 10 treatments of radiation done already and has 23 left to go. We find having a countdown going helps to make it all feel more doable. After Mondays treatment he will be 1/3 of the way done!! So far things are going pretty well and Rob is still able to do many things. Rob is starting to feel soreness in his mouth and spends a lot of time taking care of his mouth. That being said he does not have severe pain or sores in his mouth like they said he might by this time. Rob and I were talking the other night about how he is feeling and what the doctors and nurses have told us he might be feeling (they give you worst case scenarios) and we are convinced that because of the army of people praying, he is not feeling the terrible side effects. We know that you are all praying that the treatments get rid of the cancer and that Rob does not have awful side effects and so far they are manageable. We are so grateful to have so many people praying for Rob and ask that you continue to pray.
On November 11th Rob will have his second round of chemo. He was able to get through the first one by sleeping a lot and making sure he took all of his anti nausea pills. He was taking 4 different pills to keep the nausea away and for the most part they did their job. We will go into the second round with a little more knowledge of what to expect and praying that the side effects are no worse then the first time.
Rob has to be very careful not to lose weight while he is getting treatment and during recovery. For the most part (except for a few days around chemo) he has a very good appetite. This is partially to do with his body rapidly trying to build new healthy cells and also because he is taking some medicine that has a steroid in it. Right now he is able to eat soft food and cut it up but if it is too tough he purees it. He also has lots of shakes and smoothies packed with protein. Over the next few weeks as the radiation adds up he may have a tougher time but we continue to pray that he has minimum side effects and can continue to eat they was he is now.
I saw my family doctor last Thursday and will be heading back to work starting Monday on light duties. I am healing well, however if I push it too much I could cause some problems which would be a big setback. I am still not allowed to lift anything heavier then 10 lbs and I can't push or pull anything over 100 lbs. This is a big deal when you work at a nursing home and push wheelchairs all day. Even pushing a half full shopping cart hurt my stomach a little. I am able to know very quickly if something is too much for me and will be able to do modified duties at work. In 2 1/2 weeks I will go back and see my doctor and hopefully will get the ok to resume my normal job and life.
We get asked often "how are you doing?" and it is a hard question to answer. We have moments when things feel totally fine and we have other moments that we feel completely overwhelmed and that we can not handle it. That being said we are not in the depths of despair but instead we go forward each moment in faith. Would we change our situation if you could?...yes of course. However we don't have that choice so we continue to walk forward one small step at a time knowing that God is walking right beside us and will not leave us. That doesn't mean that life will be easy but it means we are not alone. God continues to use many things and people to encourage us and remind us of this. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Love Karen
On November 11th Rob will have his second round of chemo. He was able to get through the first one by sleeping a lot and making sure he took all of his anti nausea pills. He was taking 4 different pills to keep the nausea away and for the most part they did their job. We will go into the second round with a little more knowledge of what to expect and praying that the side effects are no worse then the first time.
Rob has to be very careful not to lose weight while he is getting treatment and during recovery. For the most part (except for a few days around chemo) he has a very good appetite. This is partially to do with his body rapidly trying to build new healthy cells and also because he is taking some medicine that has a steroid in it. Right now he is able to eat soft food and cut it up but if it is too tough he purees it. He also has lots of shakes and smoothies packed with protein. Over the next few weeks as the radiation adds up he may have a tougher time but we continue to pray that he has minimum side effects and can continue to eat they was he is now.
I saw my family doctor last Thursday and will be heading back to work starting Monday on light duties. I am healing well, however if I push it too much I could cause some problems which would be a big setback. I am still not allowed to lift anything heavier then 10 lbs and I can't push or pull anything over 100 lbs. This is a big deal when you work at a nursing home and push wheelchairs all day. Even pushing a half full shopping cart hurt my stomach a little. I am able to know very quickly if something is too much for me and will be able to do modified duties at work. In 2 1/2 weeks I will go back and see my doctor and hopefully will get the ok to resume my normal job and life.
We get asked often "how are you doing?" and it is a hard question to answer. We have moments when things feel totally fine and we have other moments that we feel completely overwhelmed and that we can not handle it. That being said we are not in the depths of despair but instead we go forward each moment in faith. Would we change our situation if you could?...yes of course. However we don't have that choice so we continue to walk forward one small step at a time knowing that God is walking right beside us and will not leave us. That doesn't mean that life will be easy but it means we are not alone. God continues to use many things and people to encourage us and remind us of this. Thank you for your prayers and support.
Love Karen
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Who needs their appendix anyway!?
" Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
On Saturday I sat at the computer and wrote the last blog entry having no idea what was going to happen that night. I wasn't feeling great from about noon on but I wasn't going to let that stop me. We had plan to go to our friends Jon and Jen's that night to hang out for a little bit and let the boys play. I figured I could lay on their couch just the same as I could lay on mine so we went. As we sat there the pain in my stomach got worse and I was feeling more and more nauseated. Looking back I am very thankful we went to Jon and Jen's that night because likely I would have just gone to bed and who knows what would have happened but they insisted that I go to the hospital. So Rob took Isaac home, Jon stayed home to put their boys to bed and Jen & I headed to Concordia Hospital. We arrived around 9pm...and then we waited and waited and waited. I was able to get comfortable sitting there but I still had the pain and knew I needed to be there. Around 3:30am I was finally brought to a room and about 4:30am the doctor came to see me. He said that he was 80% sure that I had an appendicitis. My white blood cells were up and I had pain on my right side but I didn't have a fever so that is why he wasn't 100% sure. He wouldn't be able to confirm until I had a CT scan sometime after 8:30am. After he left I just looked at Jen and burst into tears. I know that God has a plan and we need to trust him but aren't we going through enough?! At this point I don't think we will know why this is all happening right now but we still trust in a God who is faithful. Jen went home just before 7 am after pulling an all nighter with me and about 10 minutes later Rob arrived. About 9:30am I was taken to my CT Scan and then at 10:30am a doctor came and confirm what I feared. I had an appendicitis and would be transferred to another hospital shortly and have surgery that day.
After a bumpy ambulance ride I arrived at St Boniface and met a lovely nurse and lots of doctors. Just after 2pm I went into surgery which was less than an hour long. I had never had surgery before so was a little anxious about being put under and Rob had never had to watch me be taken away so he was anxious too. It was so weird to be doing a role reversal but it was a good perspective for both of us. I am happy to say that my surgery went very smoothly and they were able to remove my appendix before it ruptured laproscopically. This means that my recovery is 2-4 weeks versus 6 weeks if they had to do a bigger incision. It also means I could go home much quicker so on Monday morning, less then 24 hours after my surgery, I was able to come home. I think that in a normal circumstance an appendectomy wouldn't be super hard to deal with but going into the week we had it was very overwhelming. I am doing well, just moving very slowly. I had to miss some of Rob's appointments this week but I am happy that I was able to be at some of them and his mom went to the rest. I am not allowed to lift anything and can't even bend down to do up my own shoes. I am told to just be patient and give my body time to heal. Within a few weeks I should be back to normal and will be able to help Rob and look after Isaac.
Another big help is my best friend Sarah from Ontario was able to completely cancel her life for a week and make arrangements for everything to be looked after at home so she could come here for the week. We also had someone offer to pay for her flight which we are so grateful for. So on Monday evening, a few hours after I was home from hospital, she arrived and is here until Saturday. It has been great to have someone here to do laundry, clean the kitchen, get groceries and play with Isaac amongst other things. Both Rob and I are so grateful she was able to come and help us out.
Rob also had a big week this week. On Monday he started radiation and has had 4 treatments so far. They are going well but usually the first 2 weeks you don't have many side effects. Tuesday was the start of chemo. He will have 3 treatments throughout the next 6 weeks. They also give him extra hydration through IV for a few days plus a lot of anti nausea pills. Thankfully the anti nausea seem to be working. Rob is definitely not his usual self but he has taken this week very well. His biggest side effects to this point are an upset stomach and very little appetite at times and fatigue. Rob doesn't normally sleep very much but he is very tired now even after a few hours. We are hoping that each chemo are the same and that the weeks between give him time to recover. We will be glad for the weekend because we will have a break of being at the hospital. Adding up the hours Rob has been there this week for appointments for over 26 hours!
On top of starting radiation and chemo this week he also had follow up with Dr Nason and Dr Hayakawa ( his plastic surgeon who did part of his first surgery). Both were pleased with how Rob was healing but said that he needed to get through the rest of the treatment before any other steps were taken. Rob was encouraged to keep his tongue moving and practice swallowing so that his tongue doesn't stiffen up.
We just never know what we can handle but I can tell you one thing for sure, we could never handle any of this alone. We have an amazing support of people surrounding us, praying for us, bringing us meals, helping with Isaac, and just being there for us. Most importantly we have a relationship with a God who is faithful and loves us more than we will ever know.
Love Karen
On Saturday I sat at the computer and wrote the last blog entry having no idea what was going to happen that night. I wasn't feeling great from about noon on but I wasn't going to let that stop me. We had plan to go to our friends Jon and Jen's that night to hang out for a little bit and let the boys play. I figured I could lay on their couch just the same as I could lay on mine so we went. As we sat there the pain in my stomach got worse and I was feeling more and more nauseated. Looking back I am very thankful we went to Jon and Jen's that night because likely I would have just gone to bed and who knows what would have happened but they insisted that I go to the hospital. So Rob took Isaac home, Jon stayed home to put their boys to bed and Jen & I headed to Concordia Hospital. We arrived around 9pm...and then we waited and waited and waited. I was able to get comfortable sitting there but I still had the pain and knew I needed to be there. Around 3:30am I was finally brought to a room and about 4:30am the doctor came to see me. He said that he was 80% sure that I had an appendicitis. My white blood cells were up and I had pain on my right side but I didn't have a fever so that is why he wasn't 100% sure. He wouldn't be able to confirm until I had a CT scan sometime after 8:30am. After he left I just looked at Jen and burst into tears. I know that God has a plan and we need to trust him but aren't we going through enough?! At this point I don't think we will know why this is all happening right now but we still trust in a God who is faithful. Jen went home just before 7 am after pulling an all nighter with me and about 10 minutes later Rob arrived. About 9:30am I was taken to my CT Scan and then at 10:30am a doctor came and confirm what I feared. I had an appendicitis and would be transferred to another hospital shortly and have surgery that day.
After a bumpy ambulance ride I arrived at St Boniface and met a lovely nurse and lots of doctors. Just after 2pm I went into surgery which was less than an hour long. I had never had surgery before so was a little anxious about being put under and Rob had never had to watch me be taken away so he was anxious too. It was so weird to be doing a role reversal but it was a good perspective for both of us. I am happy to say that my surgery went very smoothly and they were able to remove my appendix before it ruptured laproscopically. This means that my recovery is 2-4 weeks versus 6 weeks if they had to do a bigger incision. It also means I could go home much quicker so on Monday morning, less then 24 hours after my surgery, I was able to come home. I think that in a normal circumstance an appendectomy wouldn't be super hard to deal with but going into the week we had it was very overwhelming. I am doing well, just moving very slowly. I had to miss some of Rob's appointments this week but I am happy that I was able to be at some of them and his mom went to the rest. I am not allowed to lift anything and can't even bend down to do up my own shoes. I am told to just be patient and give my body time to heal. Within a few weeks I should be back to normal and will be able to help Rob and look after Isaac.
Another big help is my best friend Sarah from Ontario was able to completely cancel her life for a week and make arrangements for everything to be looked after at home so she could come here for the week. We also had someone offer to pay for her flight which we are so grateful for. So on Monday evening, a few hours after I was home from hospital, she arrived and is here until Saturday. It has been great to have someone here to do laundry, clean the kitchen, get groceries and play with Isaac amongst other things. Both Rob and I are so grateful she was able to come and help us out.
Rob also had a big week this week. On Monday he started radiation and has had 4 treatments so far. They are going well but usually the first 2 weeks you don't have many side effects. Tuesday was the start of chemo. He will have 3 treatments throughout the next 6 weeks. They also give him extra hydration through IV for a few days plus a lot of anti nausea pills. Thankfully the anti nausea seem to be working. Rob is definitely not his usual self but he has taken this week very well. His biggest side effects to this point are an upset stomach and very little appetite at times and fatigue. Rob doesn't normally sleep very much but he is very tired now even after a few hours. We are hoping that each chemo are the same and that the weeks between give him time to recover. We will be glad for the weekend because we will have a break of being at the hospital. Adding up the hours Rob has been there this week for appointments for over 26 hours!
On top of starting radiation and chemo this week he also had follow up with Dr Nason and Dr Hayakawa ( his plastic surgeon who did part of his first surgery). Both were pleased with how Rob was healing but said that he needed to get through the rest of the treatment before any other steps were taken. Rob was encouraged to keep his tongue moving and practice swallowing so that his tongue doesn't stiffen up.
We just never know what we can handle but I can tell you one thing for sure, we could never handle any of this alone. We have an amazing support of people surrounding us, praying for us, bringing us meals, helping with Isaac, and just being there for us. Most importantly we have a relationship with a God who is faithful and loves us more than we will ever know.
Love Karen
Saturday, 18 October 2014
One week and 13 appointments!
The past 2 weeks has been quiet for appointments but we are about to make up for it this week. Between Monday and Friday this week Rob has 13 appointments. Some are bunched together but a few will require going back and forth twice in a day. We knew this week would come and there are mixed feeling about it. Part of us feel ready to get things going because the quicker it starts the quicker it will be done...the other part dreads the potential side effects and all the unknowns that come with chemo and radiation. Regardless of the effects of the treatment we are praying for complete healing and that the radiation and chemo would do what it is supposed to do and get rid of all of the cancer.
On October 10th we met with the medical oncologist (chemo doctor). This was a new doctor that we had never seen before. He didn't tell us any new news that we did know before but he just talked about the side effects and the reality of the disease very bluntly and it didn't sit well with me. Sometimes the doctors ease your worries and fears but in this case he almost added more. I think once we get started things will settle down but the last week has been filled with lots of tears, fears and prayers. Rob and I often have our bad days or moments at opposite times so we are able to support each other when we need to. The evidence of God surrounding us is incredible and we know there is an army praying for us as we walk this journey. We need to just take it day by day and not worry about the future.
As we head into radiation and chemo there are many possible side effects and we were told about even though he may not experience them all. The most common ones are nausea (which he has been given 4 different prescriptions for), vomiting, numbness and tingling of the ears and sores in the mouth. With Rob already having 2 surgeries done in his mouth we pray that he does not experience these. Radiation is 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks with regular blood work and follow ups. The good thing about radiation is that is only takes about 20 minutes. Chemo will be 3 times over the 6 1/2 weeks with the first one this Tuesday. It takes about 6 hours sitting with an IV on chemo day and then for the 2 days that follow he will have to go back and get 2 hours of IV fluids to ensure it doesn't sit in his kidneys.
Through all of this I have been trying my best to go to work. I work about half time and as long as I know Rob is fine at home and Isaac is cared for I am good to be at work. However when Rob is at appointments I find it hard to be at work and not there supporting him. My work has been very good and flexible and I am thankful for that. That being said I find all of the planning and arranging very overwhelming sometimes. I like things to be planned out but lately have found there are times when it feels too complicated and I have a hard time with it. Please pray that I am able to handle the scheduling part of all this and do not get overwhelmed.
We met with the woman that is arranging Rob's Long Term Disability the other week and she said that with Rob's case it is pretty straight forward. We will have a few weeks in between EI and LTD but God has been blessing us and we are so thankful for that. LTD has a certain way they determine how much money you receive and we are praying this amount is calculated in our favour.
Since surgery Rob has been working on his talking and ability to eat. He is slowly progressing with both things and is even able to eat some soft solid food now. One thing that he is having a hard time with is the actually movement of his tongue. The second surgery required the surgeons to take some of the muscle at the base of the tongue which could be why he is having a tougher time with it. We are praying that with time the movement comes back and that he continues to be encouraged by his improvement. Sometimes recovery feels like a very slow thing but yesterday I showed Rob a picture of himself right after his surgery a month ago to encourage him in how far he has come.
This week Rob and I were able to get away for a night just the 2 of us to relax. We had a great time in Hecla just being together. On Friday we went for a little walk at the tip of the island and there is a viewing tower there. As we got to the top right away Rob noticed a bald eagle flying close by. Rob loves bald eagles and its in little things like that that we are reminded that God is with us.
Thank you once again for caring for us and praying to our God who can do ALL things.
Love Karen
On October 10th we met with the medical oncologist (chemo doctor). This was a new doctor that we had never seen before. He didn't tell us any new news that we did know before but he just talked about the side effects and the reality of the disease very bluntly and it didn't sit well with me. Sometimes the doctors ease your worries and fears but in this case he almost added more. I think once we get started things will settle down but the last week has been filled with lots of tears, fears and prayers. Rob and I often have our bad days or moments at opposite times so we are able to support each other when we need to. The evidence of God surrounding us is incredible and we know there is an army praying for us as we walk this journey. We need to just take it day by day and not worry about the future.
As we head into radiation and chemo there are many possible side effects and we were told about even though he may not experience them all. The most common ones are nausea (which he has been given 4 different prescriptions for), vomiting, numbness and tingling of the ears and sores in the mouth. With Rob already having 2 surgeries done in his mouth we pray that he does not experience these. Radiation is 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks with regular blood work and follow ups. The good thing about radiation is that is only takes about 20 minutes. Chemo will be 3 times over the 6 1/2 weeks with the first one this Tuesday. It takes about 6 hours sitting with an IV on chemo day and then for the 2 days that follow he will have to go back and get 2 hours of IV fluids to ensure it doesn't sit in his kidneys.
Through all of this I have been trying my best to go to work. I work about half time and as long as I know Rob is fine at home and Isaac is cared for I am good to be at work. However when Rob is at appointments I find it hard to be at work and not there supporting him. My work has been very good and flexible and I am thankful for that. That being said I find all of the planning and arranging very overwhelming sometimes. I like things to be planned out but lately have found there are times when it feels too complicated and I have a hard time with it. Please pray that I am able to handle the scheduling part of all this and do not get overwhelmed.
We met with the woman that is arranging Rob's Long Term Disability the other week and she said that with Rob's case it is pretty straight forward. We will have a few weeks in between EI and LTD but God has been blessing us and we are so thankful for that. LTD has a certain way they determine how much money you receive and we are praying this amount is calculated in our favour.
Since surgery Rob has been working on his talking and ability to eat. He is slowly progressing with both things and is even able to eat some soft solid food now. One thing that he is having a hard time with is the actually movement of his tongue. The second surgery required the surgeons to take some of the muscle at the base of the tongue which could be why he is having a tougher time with it. We are praying that with time the movement comes back and that he continues to be encouraged by his improvement. Sometimes recovery feels like a very slow thing but yesterday I showed Rob a picture of himself right after his surgery a month ago to encourage him in how far he has come.
This week Rob and I were able to get away for a night just the 2 of us to relax. We had a great time in Hecla just being together. On Friday we went for a little walk at the tip of the island and there is a viewing tower there. As we got to the top right away Rob noticed a bald eagle flying close by. Rob loves bald eagles and its in little things like that that we are reminded that God is with us.
Thank you once again for caring for us and praying to our God who can do ALL things.
Love Karen
Sunday, 12 October 2014
A Thanksgiving reflection from Rob
Every year on Thanksgiving Sunday our church opens up the floor for people to thank God publicly for what he has been doing in their lives. It is a time to offer up our praise to God in a public yet personal way. Every year I have felt challenged to go up, but I've always had an excuse. So this Sunday, Karen and I shared in front of the congregation, in obedience to God's Word to be thankful. In Philippians 4:6 it is written: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Thanks be to God for his unfailing love! This year I have experienced God's love in ways that I would not have understood a year ago.
I thank God for my Saviour, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for me on the cross, and gives me hope and strength.
I thank God for my wife, Karen, who has been so faithful and supportive.
I thank God for my son, Isaac, who gives me such joy and motivation to fight this disease.
I thank God for my family that has supported me through all of this.
I thank God for his church, this community of believers that bind up the broken and surround us with care and compassion. They have been such an outpouring of God's love.
I thank God for the medical advancements in our country and especially the health professionals that have dedicated their lives to healing and caring for those in need.
I thank God for showing me there is purpose in pain, that he is molding and shaping me more into the image of his Son, Jesus Christ. God provides grace in our suffering as Christians, to point others to Christ, the one who suffered on the cross to provide our saving grace. You see, in our suffering, God makes a way for us to become like Christ, and uses that to bring others into a relationship with him.
So again, Thanks be to God for his unfailing love!
Rob
Thanks be to God for his unfailing love! This year I have experienced God's love in ways that I would not have understood a year ago.
I thank God for my Saviour, Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for me on the cross, and gives me hope and strength.
I thank God for my wife, Karen, who has been so faithful and supportive.
I thank God for my son, Isaac, who gives me such joy and motivation to fight this disease.
I thank God for my family that has supported me through all of this.
I thank God for his church, this community of believers that bind up the broken and surround us with care and compassion. They have been such an outpouring of God's love.
I thank God for the medical advancements in our country and especially the health professionals that have dedicated their lives to healing and caring for those in need.
I thank God for showing me there is purpose in pain, that he is molding and shaping me more into the image of his Son, Jesus Christ. God provides grace in our suffering as Christians, to point others to Christ, the one who suffered on the cross to provide our saving grace. You see, in our suffering, God makes a way for us to become like Christ, and uses that to bring others into a relationship with him.
So again, Thanks be to God for his unfailing love!
Rob
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