It is Well with My Soul

As a young girl growing up in church I learned the words to many hymns and sang along with the adults.  Now as an adult I often sings those songs from memory without really thinking about what they mean.  Over the last year I have really become aware of the words I am singing and what they mean.  One of the first hymns I am sure I could sing by heart was "It is well with my Soul".  I remember loving the different parts, echoes and harmonies you could do.  Recently as we were singing that song it really made me think if I believed what I was singing.  This is how the first verse goes...(just imagine me singing it in your ear!!!)
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, 
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul. 
When I think through our last year, what we are facing right now and even what the future for us might look like can I honestly say it is well??  Although I have moments of fear and doubt and feeling like it isn't fair I think I could still say that yes it is well with my soul.  The only reason I can say that though is because of Jesus and the personal relationship we have with Jesus and the reassurance that we will one day all meet again in heaven.  We pray every day that Isaac will choose to follow Jesus too and we teach him the best we can.  Our life here on earth is so short compared to eternity in heaven.  Life is hard and can be messy but knowing what my future holds means I can truly say it is well with my soul.


Since my last update Rob has completed round 2 of chemo and just started round 3 yesterday.  Round 2 was much better than round 1 after getting some more anti nausea meds.  I now refer to the weeks of each round as the bad week, better week, and good week.  Since Rob is taking so may different drugs he is always fighting some kind of side effect but some are much more manageable then the others.  It is almost a good thing that the side effects come at different times because dealing with them all at the same time would be very hard.  We basically just take things day by day.  Some days Rob needs to rest and can't handle very much but other days he feels pretty good.  I know he feels good if he says he wants to go disc golfing!!  We are learning to take advantage of the good days and over the last few weeks did last minute trips to Fargo, North Dakota with Rob's parents and to Ingolf, Ontario to see Rob's Aunt, Uncle and cousins.  We have also found that planning fun things and having something to look forward to makes the bad days feel a little better.  My goal is to have a time away or fun adventure planned during the "good week" of each round. 


One of the frustrating things for me is keeping medications and appointments in order.  This week alone I have already found 2 mistakes with meds from the pharmacy and a few minor problems with appointment times.  It often feels like a full time job just keeping track of it all and making sure that we don't miss an appointment or important medication. 


Overall we seem to be managing our situation with the support of family and friends and with God reasonably well.  I never would have imagined that I would be sitting in the hospital each week watching my husband get treatment but this is our story and we can't change it but we can make the most of it. 


Tomorrow Rob and I celebrate our 9th anniversary.  Typically couples tend to do something special for their 10th anniversary but Rob decided that we don't know how many years together we have so why wait until the 10th let's make the 9th special.  Rob shared with me that he wanted to buy me a ring to celebrate. He told me what he wanted to do, and while it made me happy it also brought on a waterfall of tears.  We found the perfect ring that has 3 bands to represent Rob, myself and God and that we are joined together even if we physically apart.  Every time I look at my ring I am reminded of the love Rob has for me and that we are bound by our love for each other and God's love for us. 

Please continue to pray for Rob, Isaac and I and our families that we would lean on God for everything we need.  Pray for a miracle in Rob's body and that he is healed even though the doctors don't feel hopeful and for management of pain and side effects.  Pray for hope, strength and comfort each day. 
Love Karen