Most kids are gearing up for starting school tomorrow here in Winnipeg but as luck would have it Isaac came down with something and isn't allowed to start his first day of Kindergarten. After his fever spiked to 105.1 we decided to take him to the doctor. We still aren't totally sure what is causing the fever but hoping the medication he was given helps and he should feel much better in a day or two. Tonight as I was getting him ready for bed he said to me with tears in his eyes, "If I can't go to my first day of school I am not going to any days of school." I know that once he starts he will forget about missing his first day but he was SO excited it just doesn't seem fair. I am just praying that He feels better when he gets up tomorrow and that whatever is going on that the medication helps and that Rob stays healthy and doesn't get it.
Today I was really torn between being at chemo with Rob and being home to look after Isaac since he was sick. Marilyn, Rob's mom, was helping me out but knowing the right place for me to be was difficult. I decided to stay home with Isaac and Rob was able to have a good visit with his mom so it all worked out. I know that I have people who can and want to help us but I often just want to be everywhere and not miss a thing. This is something I need to work on and am continuously challenged by.
I think I would say that doing chemo is now a routine for us and to the point where I lose track of when I last wrote an update on here! After 3 1/2 months of weekly visits and managing side effects we are getting pretty good at knowing what each week will look like. Rob did round 5 week 2 today. It is hard to believe that summer is almost over and we spent the whole season going to Cancer Care every week.
The other week Rob had a CT scan done of his chest and neck. This is routinely done after 4 complete rounds of chemo to see if it working. We were told at his follow up appointment that the tumors have shrunk a little since chemo began but they are not "melting away." In other words the chemo is working to prevent the cancer from spreading but it is not totally getting rid of it. We are praising God that at least the chemo is working and will continue as planned. It also leaves us in a place where we need to make some decisions. I asked in this last appointment what happens after the 6 rounds were completed as I presumed they wouldn't just stop treating Rob. There are actually a few options of what we could do but one of the options is to do 2 extra rounds of this same chemo routine (doing 8 rounds of 3 weeks each in total). At this point we have not made a decision but please pray for us as we figure out what is best for Rob. Also pray that the tumors would begin to melt away and at next scan the doctors would be amazed!!
Another decision we are weighing is going away as a family after chemo is done. Chemo is a long hard road and I really think that after all of this we need some time away just to be together and have fun. One of my best friends and her family has a trip planned in November that we would love to join them but there is a lot to be decided before then. One thing we still need to look into is travel insurance for Rob. We are praying that we would know if this is the right thing for us to do and if not that we can make memories another way.
A few weeks back I was contacted by the Never Alone Foundation. They are an organization that supports cancer patients and one of the things they do is send them on day trips. The couple that gave Rob's name in told them he loves football. So on August 29th Rob, his dad, my dad (who was visiting us for a few days from Ontario) and I went to the Bomber game and had amazing seats. Rob was also given a gift bag with a number of things including a football and a jersey signed by some of the 1990 Grey Cup team. Although it wasn't the greatest game in terms of football we still had a great time. The weather was perfect and Rob felt good! We are very grateful to the Never Alone Foundation for their generous gift and the amazing opportunity.
The last little while has been tough for me. I often feel overwhelmed and weary. I am naturally a planner so I think about the future and we don't know what the future looks like so it is scary sometimes. I know that day by day we will get through whatever we face but that doesn't mean that it will be easy. In my weariness there have been more tears lately but there is also still laughter. I know that God is with us and knows the best thing for us but sometimes I just want everything to go back to "normal". Last week I was reminded of this verse found in Romans 12:12 which says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Please pray that I can live this out each day of my life. That I will be filled with hope, patience and faithfulness and that all the glory would be given to God as He carries us through.
Love Karen
