One of the many things that I hate about cancer is how quickly things can change. It feels like you have a plan and are ready to move forward with the next step and then something changes and you have a whole new plan. Often it feels like one step forward and ten steps back. Last week was one of those moments where all of the sudden the plan we had in place was completely changed.
On Friday Rob and I went to Cancer care for Rob's regular follow up with Dr Gordon (chemo doctor). We went there thinking it was going to be a normal appointment and that we would be in and out quickly....unfortunately that is not what happened. Rob mentioned that his neck pain has gotten worse over the last few weeks. Pain is always worrisome when dealing with cancer so she did a physical examination of him. She was concerned right away and felt the tumor on his collarbone felt different. She said that sometimes it can be a good thing that she only sees it every 3 weeks because then it is easier to notice a difference and Rob may not noticed a change seeing it every day. We were immediately sent for a CT scan to see what was happening. We left the hospital in shock and scared but hoping she was wrong. Sometime after 4pm Rob got a call from the doctor saying that the tumor on his collarbone and the one in his mouth had grown slightly and there it looks like the cancer might be in his jawbone now. This was news we didn't expect to hear nor did we want to hear this. Dr Gordon would like to start Rob on a new chemo drug immediately. She feels that with the change she is seeing now is not the time to stop chemo and wait to see what happens, in fact she worries that if we stop treatment then the cancer will progress very quickly. This new chemo drug is one that Rob has never had before and even though we get a long list of possible side effects we really don't know how Rob will respond to it. We had the weekend to think and pray about it and we met with her again today to go over some questions. Our time with her today was very good and she was able to answer all our questions and have a good chat with us. Before we got out of the car to go in we prayed for peace with our decision especially for Rob. I am happy to say that after leaving Cancer Care today we both felt at peace and that this was a good next step. Unfortunately Rob has a bad sinus cold and so we will begin chemo next week. In one way we are thankful for the break this week and hope to enjoy it. Pray that Rob is able to fight off this cold quickly so he can enjoy some days this week and that chemo will start as planned next week.
The other thing we talked at length about today was natural treatments. Rob has done 3 of the natural treatments so far. We feel like we haven't even had a chance to see if it is working at all so we will continue those treatments as long as there are no interactions with the chemo drug. Dr Gordon would like Rob to do the first round of chemo without the natural treatments so that we are able to know if there are side effects what might be causing them. That way he can compare a round of chemo without natural treatments to a round with. We have also heard that for some patients on natural treatments have less side effects from the chemo drugs and we are praying this is the case for Rob. The other thing we are going to look into is an additional weekly treatment specifically for the type of cancer Rob has. We had previously declined it to keep the costs lower but at this point we need to give everything we have a try. There is also some concern that the natural treatments are antioxidants and will not allow the chemo to do what it needs to do so we will have to meet with the Naturopath to discuss this.
I have spent a lot of time wondering when we stop trying or hoping. I think that when you are outside of the shoes we find ourselves in it is very easy to question when enough is enough. However when you are in our shoes you realize that, although we know the reality of our situation, we will keep fighting and trying everything we can until Rob no longer can. We pray everyday that Rob will be healed and that we will have many more years on earth together.
Many of you have been asking how Isaac is doing. We try to keep things as normal as possible around him but that being said he picks up on our emotions. He also knows that Daddy has cancer and prays for him every night to get better. Over the weekend Isaac and I were talking and I told him that Daddy was going to start a new medicine and that he would probably lose his hair. Isaac's response was, " It's ok I will always know who my Dad is. I love my Daddy. He is the best!". We try to make a priority of time together and make sure that Isaac always know how much he is loved so that even amongst the chaos he is confident of that.
We are scared and weary but we know that God loves us and that He will continue to walk with us. Love Karen
Tuesday 13 October 2015
Sunday 4 October 2015
A long overdue update.
I have a hard time believing it has almost been a month since my last update. For the last 2 weeks I have been meaning to sit down and write an update to let you all know what is going on and what to pray for. To be honest it has seemed like a daunting task and I just kept putting it off. Thank you for being so faithful in reading our story and praying for us. Although writing an update is tough some days I am beyond thankful that we have an army of people who love us and are lifting our family up to God. Once again we are so thankful for each of you and that we are not facing this alone.
Our small group just started a study on 1 Peter and part of it really hit home for me. 1 Peter 1:6&7 says, "6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." I often wonder why some people have more difficult trials than others and many times have thought "haven't we been through enough?". The truth is we don't choose what we face in life but we choose how we face the trials. Some people do have easier life than others but that doesn't change our faith. Each day I need to make the decision to be glad for this day and live it to the fullest. I struggle with this on a regular basis but I will continue to have that as my goal. God is still good all the time-even on our toughest days.
So now for the medical part. In my last blog I mentioned that we were trying to decide if Rob should do 2 extra rounds of chemo. Sometimes prayers are answered differently then we think and this time was one of them. We didn't end up having to make a decision, the doctor did it for us. At Rob's next follow up with his oncologist she said that the research shows 6 rounds is best and she only gives extra for people who are scared to stop. She had offered it to us if we wanted it but didn't actually recommend it. So that means that as of tomorrow Rob will be done his full 6 rounds of chemo. He will still continue to receive cetuximab every week. The cetuximab isn't considered a chemo drug but is an antibody. It works similarly to the antibodies we all have that fight off sickness. For some people this will hold back the cancer for a while and for some not long. Before the end of the year Rob will have another CT scan to see if the cetuximab alone is working for him. At that point we will decide about next steps. The doctors don't know how Rob's disease will progress so they just have to treat it one step at a time.
Something that we have been looking into for a few months now is alternative/natural treatments. We have read about them and found someone here in Winnipeg that offers them. Dr Caeser is a naturopathic doctor with many years of experience treating cancer. Last Monday we met with him for the first time and Rob started his first treatment on Friday. He uses a few natural drugs through IV as well as oral supplements. These things have been known to attack the cancer cells without getting the healthy ones therefore you get the treatment without the nasty side effects. It is hard to say what one would do until they face the situation and for us this is one of those times. When the medical doctors say they can't get rid of the cancer then you need to look elsewhere. We are feeling good about this step in Rob's treatment and we know we need to try this even though it is not guaranteed to work. The biggest downfall of natural treatment is that it is not covered at all. That means that every minute you are with the doctor you are paying out of your pocket. We have already decided to go for 2 treatments a week instead of the recommended 3 to cut down the cost. People often say to save up for a rainy day and it has been raining for us for awhile. Please pray that we make wise decisions regarding this and that God provides what we need without having to choose between Rob's health and money.
Whether God heals Rob by the medicine, the natural medicine, or just by miraculously healing him we don't care and will never know but we do pray for healing everyday. We know that sometimes God heals and sometimes he doesn't but we have hope because one day we will be in heaven. Pray for us that we are able to enjoy each day we have together, that we are loving and patient with each other and that the stress of our life doesn't cause tension in our family.
I am happy to report that Isaac has started Kindergarten now and he is loving it. Even on his first day he walked in there and didn't care at all that we were leaving. I know that school is going to be a good thing for all of us. Isaac also started karate a few weeks ago. I was able to find a local place that let Isaac try it for free for 2 classes and is very affordable. He wasn't sure at first if he wanted to go back because it was hard but he is doing very well and working at getting better.
This week is a big week for me because I am starting back at work. I met with my boss and she was happy to help me the best way she could. I will be going back just 2 short shifts a week. Rob and I both feel like this will be a good thing to get me out of the house a bit and with Isaac in school during one of my shifts and grandma and grandpa helping with the other one Rob should be ok. The only way to know if this will work is to try it so that is what we will do. It was one of the best decisions I made staying home for the last few months but I do look forward to going back to work even just a few hours a week and hanging out with some seniors!!
I will try to be better about updating on here more often but know that even when I am silent we need and appreciate all your love and prayers.
Love Karen
Our small group just started a study on 1 Peter and part of it really hit home for me. 1 Peter 1:6&7 says, "6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." I often wonder why some people have more difficult trials than others and many times have thought "haven't we been through enough?". The truth is we don't choose what we face in life but we choose how we face the trials. Some people do have easier life than others but that doesn't change our faith. Each day I need to make the decision to be glad for this day and live it to the fullest. I struggle with this on a regular basis but I will continue to have that as my goal. God is still good all the time-even on our toughest days.
So now for the medical part. In my last blog I mentioned that we were trying to decide if Rob should do 2 extra rounds of chemo. Sometimes prayers are answered differently then we think and this time was one of them. We didn't end up having to make a decision, the doctor did it for us. At Rob's next follow up with his oncologist she said that the research shows 6 rounds is best and she only gives extra for people who are scared to stop. She had offered it to us if we wanted it but didn't actually recommend it. So that means that as of tomorrow Rob will be done his full 6 rounds of chemo. He will still continue to receive cetuximab every week. The cetuximab isn't considered a chemo drug but is an antibody. It works similarly to the antibodies we all have that fight off sickness. For some people this will hold back the cancer for a while and for some not long. Before the end of the year Rob will have another CT scan to see if the cetuximab alone is working for him. At that point we will decide about next steps. The doctors don't know how Rob's disease will progress so they just have to treat it one step at a time.
Something that we have been looking into for a few months now is alternative/natural treatments. We have read about them and found someone here in Winnipeg that offers them. Dr Caeser is a naturopathic doctor with many years of experience treating cancer. Last Monday we met with him for the first time and Rob started his first treatment on Friday. He uses a few natural drugs through IV as well as oral supplements. These things have been known to attack the cancer cells without getting the healthy ones therefore you get the treatment without the nasty side effects. It is hard to say what one would do until they face the situation and for us this is one of those times. When the medical doctors say they can't get rid of the cancer then you need to look elsewhere. We are feeling good about this step in Rob's treatment and we know we need to try this even though it is not guaranteed to work. The biggest downfall of natural treatment is that it is not covered at all. That means that every minute you are with the doctor you are paying out of your pocket. We have already decided to go for 2 treatments a week instead of the recommended 3 to cut down the cost. People often say to save up for a rainy day and it has been raining for us for awhile. Please pray that we make wise decisions regarding this and that God provides what we need without having to choose between Rob's health and money.
Whether God heals Rob by the medicine, the natural medicine, or just by miraculously healing him we don't care and will never know but we do pray for healing everyday. We know that sometimes God heals and sometimes he doesn't but we have hope because one day we will be in heaven. Pray for us that we are able to enjoy each day we have together, that we are loving and patient with each other and that the stress of our life doesn't cause tension in our family.
I am happy to report that Isaac has started Kindergarten now and he is loving it. Even on his first day he walked in there and didn't care at all that we were leaving. I know that school is going to be a good thing for all of us. Isaac also started karate a few weeks ago. I was able to find a local place that let Isaac try it for free for 2 classes and is very affordable. He wasn't sure at first if he wanted to go back because it was hard but he is doing very well and working at getting better.
This week is a big week for me because I am starting back at work. I met with my boss and she was happy to help me the best way she could. I will be going back just 2 short shifts a week. Rob and I both feel like this will be a good thing to get me out of the house a bit and with Isaac in school during one of my shifts and grandma and grandpa helping with the other one Rob should be ok. The only way to know if this will work is to try it so that is what we will do. It was one of the best decisions I made staying home for the last few months but I do look forward to going back to work even just a few hours a week and hanging out with some seniors!!
I will try to be better about updating on here more often but know that even when I am silent we need and appreciate all your love and prayers.
Love Karen
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