The last 24 hours and an update from my sister

My sister Janet just finished writing a blog post for me and my intention was to post it and not add anything.  However given what the last 24 hours have looked like for us I figured I needed to add something to give you an update.  Yesterday Rob had a pretty good day for him and manage to stay up and visit with a few friends.  Last night he went to bed like normal and a little bit later Sarah and I headed to bed.  Before we even managed to fall asleep we heard a huge bang downstairs.  Let me tell you we jumped out of bed and ran downstairs so fast!  Rob had quietly gotten up to go to the bathroom and his legs had given out and he fell on his bum and then back on his head.  Thankfully Sarah was there to help me and after a bit we managed to get him off the floor and back to bed.  As you can imagine after a wake up like that we couldn't fall asleep very well and slept on the chair and couch right outside Rob's room.  Rob and I had always said that I would try and keep him home as long as I could but I knew over Christmas we were getting closer to needing help.  With the fall last night and the added confusion he has been experiencing I finally made the call this morning and was told there was a bed available (this is not always the case).  So after an agonizing wait the stretcher service came and picked us up to take us to Riverview Palliative Care Centre.  Leaving the house with Rob for the the last time was just heart breaking.  I know this was a good decision and it the best place for Rob to be however it was very difficult.  Rob has a great room here at the end of the hallway and we have made ourselves at home.  In speaking with the doctor today I know that they agree Rob should be here and that he is progressing as they have seen before.  I was also told I should spend the nights here as that is when the most confusion happens and that I would be the most calming voice to him and that likely he doesn't have long.

Tonight is new years and many people are out celebrating the new year and looking forward to 2016.  I am sitting here beside my dying husband and my childhood best friend Sarah wondering what the year holds for me.  I certainly never imagined this however I cannot wait for Rob to get to heaven and be pain free and be face to face with his Saviour Jesus.  Please keep praying for our family and extended family and friends as we still have a long road ahead.
Love Karen

Here is the beautifully written update from my sister....

As a member of Karen’s family, living out here in Ontario may only be a few hours away by plane but it may as well be a few days away. All of us here in Ontario are aching for Karen and her little family. We hope and we pray for them, but we long to also do some of the daily practical things to help Karen, Rob and Isaac. The kind of things you automatically want to do for someone when they’re sick- make meals, walk Isaac to school, do laundry, etc. We feel helpless out here.

When the news came that Rob would be stopping his radiation treatment because the cancer was not responding, our family was devastated. Our hearts were so heavy. We felt we really needed to get to Winnipeg to show our support, lend a hand, provide some company and most likely see Rob for the last time. Ever. 

My trip was booked for early morning on December 6th- late afternoon December 8^th. It was the most time I could be away from the bakery at this critical time of year and I was so grateful for the opportunity to go.

When I arrived at Rob and Karen’s I gave Rob a quick hug and a hello before we rushed off to church. I was surprised at how much smaller and more fragile he was. I almost felt as though I might crush him if I squeezed too hard.

When we were at church the love that people had for Karen, Rob and Isaac was so visible. My sister Kathy, brother-in-law Kevin and I hung off to the side nearly in tears as we watched the flow of hugs and encouragement to Karen. It was deeply touching to see the love and support of their church family in front of our eyes, as well as to know about the many other practical forms of support from the church such as the meal train, the housecleaning, the visits and the financial support.

People of Rowandale church in Winnipeg, let me just say to you right now that we owe you a debt that we can never repay directly. You have gone above and beyond in treating Rob, Karen and Isaac like they were dear family members of yours. To everyone reading this blog, let me impress upon you that this is what Christian love is. This is how a church really works, how it was meant to be. 

What continues to impress me is that they keep it up. The meals keep coming, the visits keep coming, the financial support keeps coming, they are still held up in constant prayer. Thank you. Thank you for loving them in ways that we can’t possibly right now.

What I saw in Isaac during my visit: 

Since my own kids weren’t with me during this visit I was able to spend more one-on-one time with Isaac. What I see in Isaac is a little boy full of wonder and life. He has energy to spare and never hesitates to express himself. He puts everything into everything he does. He is emotional, but he shows his emotions- this will be both good and bad for Karen on the road ahead. She will know when something is bothering him- which is good, but she will also have to deal with his intense emotion while dealing with her own grief. 

What I saw in Karen during my visit:

Karen is a warrior. She vigorously fights for her loved ones and works tirelessly to help and support them. We are all impressed by her positive attitude and will to keep going. Karen gets her peace from God and her rock-hard faith stands firm that God will get them through this. The miracles she has seen in this journey keep her going and the angels God sends to physically be with her help to keep her spirits up. 

But every warrior grows weary and Karen is at the end of a long hard battle. I have no doubt that her friends and family will continue to support her by just physically being there with her.

And finally, what I saw in Rob during my visit:

When I visited at the beginning of December I was lucky enough to see Rob at one of his best times. He bowled with us on Sunday, stayed up late and played cards that night, then on Monday we all went to Jack Pott’s (which is like Chuck E. Cheese for those of you in Ontario). He participated 100% and kicked all of our butts at everything. He was smiling, laughing and having conversations with us. He was thankful for the time he could spend with us. 

I never heard him complain once. I did hear him say how much he was enjoying everything. He said he enjoyed being out, he enjoyed hanging out at home and he even commented a couple of times on how he enjoyed his pureed dinner. Think about that for a moment- chicken, rice and vegetables- completely pureed- he was thankful. It impressed and saddened me at the same time.

When Rob found out about his cancer in the beginning, he did struggle with it mentally, he had good days and bad. The longer he had it, the more he seemed to dive into his Bible. He had to learn to accept that his looks changed and his speech changed after his first surgery. It would be hard to look and sound different than what you were used to. To have people not understand what you were saying some times, to have to learn how to speak and swallow again. And that was earlier on. To have several setbacks this past Fall and to ultimately learn that the cancer was progressing despite and even during the treatment. Devastating, right?

Despite all that, the Rob that I visited with early this December left such an impression on me. I swear, his peace was palpable. Complete peace. When I hugged him goodbye for the last time there were things I wanted to say to him but you just can’t get them out in a moment like that. His body was dying but his spirit was so alive.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

These days Rob has very little time left. His body is in the final stages, breaking down moment by moment. It’s hard for Karen to watch day by day. She has to be “on guard”- prepared at any moment to jump into action if his health fails, but she also has to be patient and somehow enjoy even these last few moments.

Pray for Karen. Pray for Isaac. Pray for Rob’s family as they too spend their last moments with Rob. Pray for our family.

Jesus never promised us that life would be easy, in fact He warned us that life would be hard. If He did promise us a life without suffering then it would be a no-brainer. Millions, even billions of people would “become Christians” but would they really be choosing Jesus? Jesus wants us to choose Him and what He does promise is peace despite life’s hardships and salvation.

Rob has peace and we have peace that he is going to Heaven. When he gets there he will be free. When he passes he will truly be able to sing “It is well with my soul.”